Silence is Not Always Golden
by Pitch Black Pale Blue
Summary: "Riley, why have you been avoiding the new kid Lucas? Why are you so scared of him? Is it because of the subway? And do not say 'It is because my mom died' or 'I don't talk' " said Maya. Rucas HighSchool AU DISCONTINUED Read CH15 for reasons.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary; "Riley, why have you been avoiding the new boy Lucas? Why are you scared of him? And don't say 'It because my mom died or I don't talk'," said Maya. Highschool AU**

 **Hey everyone this is my first story, but I will do my best. This is a Rucas Highschool AU. Please review. Rated T for swearing and some very depressing moments.**

 **Chapter 1**

 _RIng! Ring! Ring!_

Riley's alarm clock was going off. She blindly slammed down on the button. _First day of my sophomore year_ , she thought. Riley rolled onto her back. Normally her excited father would run in and wake her up, but not today. Today was going to be difficult. She had a few things to look forward to. Shawn, Josh, her father's parents, Maya and her mother, and Farkle would come over tonight for a memorial dinner. It was the first day of school.

Riley opened the curtains of her window to see Maya climbing up the fire escape. She opened her window and in stepped Maya.

"How are you doing," she asked. Riley nodded her head _. I will be strong._ She saw what Maya was wearing. Although it was not uncommon for Maya to wear black, today it was much classier. A jet black sweater and leggings with black boots.

Riley began to rifle through her closet. She undressed out of her tank top she wore to bed and slipped on a soft black dress and black leggings while slipping her feet into little black flats. To add a touch of Riley she put on the earrings Topanga gave her for her sixth birthday. The last birthday present she gave her. _Nine years_ , she thought to herself.

She turned to look at Maya. "You look amazing." Maya came and ran her fingers through her hair to make Riley waves appeared wind blown. She then hugged Riley tightly. It took Riley a lot of strength not to cry.

There was a knock on the door. Riley walked to open it. "Good morning Riles," said Cory Mathews. He was wearing all black as well but he was smiling that big dorky smile that always made Riley roll her eyes. "God you're a sophomore now," he said. Riley smiled and hugged him. _Good morning_ , she thought. "Good morning Ms. Hart" Cory spoke.

"Good morning Mr. Mathews," she replied.

"Breakfast," Cory shouted energetically.

Riley almost tripped over Auggie who was running out of his room.

"Ow! Ow! Ow," Auggie yelled dramatically. Riley rolled her eyes. _Ever the drama queen. Even going into sixth grade._

Riley sat down and ate her cereal, Maya sitting next to her.

"I heard some certain children are going to be in my history class," Cory beamed.

Maya and Riley rolled their eyes. "Mr. Mathews I believe this whole having children being your history class every year is kinda weird. Isn't it stalking?" Maya asked.

"No," snarled Cory.

"What about me," asked Auggie.

"I am not worried about the opposite gender going after you," he answered.

"Yeah Auggie how is Ava," Maya asked.

"Fine," Auggie replied.

They began to eat their breakfast once more.

"Time to go girls," said Cory checking his watch. Despite teaching at the same school as Riley Cory had no first period class and could leave an hour later.

Riley and Maya placed their bowles in the sink and went to retrieve their backpacks. When Riley walked into her room and went to her desk. She looked at the photo of her mother and her at age six, only a few weeks before the accident. She kissed two of her fingers and put them on her mother's face. Then she grabbed her bag and met Maya outside.

***********"*******************************************************

On the subway Riley and Maya were twirling around the poles.

"On look at him," said Maya pointing behind Riley. Riley turned to look. How she missed him, she did not know. The teen was very handsome with sandy brown hair and tan skin. He had a very athletic physique and when he glanced at her she could see beautiful brown eyes. _Oh no he is staring. And I am staring back. And he is smiling._ She quickly turned around. Maya began to smirk at her. Riley shook her head. _Please do not interfere._ Before she knew it Maya pushed her and she lost balance. She was calling backwards. _Fantastic_. Ever the gentleman the boy caught her. Riley froze. _What do I do?_

"Hi I am Lucas," the boy said. _I love it,_ she thought. "Are you okay," Lucas asked. Riley quickly nodded then got off his lap as soon as the train stopped. Riley pulled Maya off a stop early.

"Oh my god you have got it bad," Maya shouted.

*********************************************************"**"**********

"Ladies," Farkle said at the girls lockers. Riley could see he was trying to lighten the mood.

"Farkle," Maya replied. He had changed so much from when they were younger but this was a tradition that stuck. "How is Smackle," Maya asked.

"Fantastic," he answered. They all began to swap schedules. Riley had math, history, art, lunch, gym, science,French and English. She had Maya in history,art, gym and science while Farkle was in history,art, French and science. Riley began to worry. She had neither in math or English. Although all her teachers were notified of her unique condition not all respected it. Her eighth grade science teacher refused to believe her and made her life hell.

"Hey you got this," said Maya.

"Yeah we're here in spirit," Farkle added.

They all parted ways to their classes. Riley began to walk to class. Her math teacher Mrs. Esperanza was a very nice older woman from Guam who came to her about her condition. Riley choose a seat in the second near the window. No one sat next to her. It did not bother her at all. Her classmates knew about her silent mouth. As class began to start Mrs. Esperanza made an announcement.

"Class you have all known each other for years so it is harder for new students to come in. I hope you give a warm welcome to your new classmate Lucas Friar.*

Riley inhaled sharply. _Please no._ _Not today_. Then in walked the subway boy…

 **So I hope everyone liked the first chapter. The response I get will probably determine the speed of the update. Feel free to p.m me or leave a review if you have questions. I will answer back. Wish me luck! Bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh my Gosh! The response was amazing! Thank you so much! Last chapter I forgot to put up a song recommendation for this story.** _ **All of the Stars**_ **piano version by Sam Yung. Also for all you Marvel Fans there is a Poll about the movies if you want to check it out on my profile. Email is being stubborn so any questions will have to be on reviews. Sorry! I hope to have it fixed by the next chapter. On to the story!**

"Everyone Mr. Friar is here from Texas and I expect you all to treat him well," Mrs. Ezperanza spoke.

Subway boy, _No_ , Lucas began to make his way over to her desk. _Oh no. Oh no! Brace for impact!_ He sat in the desk next to her. "Hey," he said smiling. She nodded her head and broke into a small smile. "Do you know where Mathews history class is?" _Oh no he is in my next class?_ She nodded. When it was clear to him she was not going to speak he asked "Can you show me," he asked still smiling. She nodded. The rest of the class period was spent talking about this year's curriculum. Occasionally Riley would glance at Lucas and he would glance at her. _God this year would be awkward as hell._

When class ended Riley motioned for Lucas to follow her. As they walked through the halls Lucas asked, "Okay quick question can we maybe forget the whole subway indecent and start over?" _What if I don't wanna forget?_ Despite her thoughts Riley nodded. "Cool well I am Lucas Friar and you are," he asked. Riley looked away. "You don't talk do you?" Looking ashamed Riley nodded. _Goodbye any shot of not seeming like a freak._ "Hey no need to be ashamed," he said. That made her cheer up immensely. "Can I see your schedule?" Riley handed it to him.

"Alright Miss Riley Matthews. Wait is your dad Mr. Matthews?" Riley nodded.

"That must be cool," he assumed. _It is incredibly awkward._ Riley shrugged. "Or is it awkward?" She nodded furiously. He chuckled. "Wait," he said. He took another look at her schedule again. "What the hell! I have got the exact same schedule!" Riley gave him an exaggerated _You are crazy_ look. "I promised I did not plan this," he said holding his hands up in defense. She smiled. _Goofball_.

As she walked into class Riley glanced at her father. He seemed to be holding up okay. She then waved to Maya and Farkle who rushed over to her.

"Subway Boy," Maya growled.

"You," Lucas mocked.

"Farkle," Farkle yelled.

Riley rolled her eyes. "My name is Lucas Friar. I just moved here from Texas," Lucas said holding out his hand.

Farkle shook it. "Farkle Minkus."

Lucas was taken aback. "Okay. And you," he spoke to Maya.

"Maya Hart," she said glaring. Then her face softened. "He is clean."

"What the?" Lucas began to clam up. Riley just gave him a tired smile. _They are good people_ she thought. Lucas looked at her and began to relax. Maya and Farkle convinced Lucas to join them for lunch. When the bell rang Cory came up to them.

"I thought it was illegal for boys except Farkle to come near my daughter," Cory whispered loudly at Lucas. RIley rolled her eyes, annoyed.

"Sorry Sir," said Lucas, glancing down.

"Uh-hu," smirked Cory. "Transfer from Texas?"

"Yes sir," Lucas replied.

"Now go sit down you four," Cory finished. They all listened.

"Now I know it is the first day but I have a lesson." The class groaned.

"Oh boohoo," Cory mocked. "Now in the 1800's the United States was flourishing. There was expansion towards the west and immigration made the economy boom. But one sad thing was also expanding. Slavery. That was beginning to divide our country…" The lesson continued on and Cory began to show how true friends and allies will always stick together. The whole time Riley thought about her friends and how they always stuck together. _Maybe Lucas will soon join that group_. After History came art, where as usual Riley's teacher was unimpressed. It didn't bother Riley though. Art was just not her thing. Then came lunch. Riley learned more about Lucas, who had grown up on a farm. "Huckleberry" Maya had started calling Lucas. In gym they played a game of dodgeball. That bitch Missy Bradford hit Riley in the face and Lucas walked Riley to the nurse to get an ice pack. In science Farkle promised he would not blow the lab up this year and Lucas sat next to her in French. Riley fell in love with her new English teacher Harper who assigned them to read a comic book and have it finished by next week. It was not until the end bell rang that Riley remembered what was waiting at home She immediately fell depressed and slowly walked to her locker. When she arrived she saw that her dad was waiting there. "I will be home in about two hours. Could you get the potatoes and salad ready for tonight?" Riley quickly nodded. She then wrapped her arms tightly around him. Maya and Farkle met her at her locker and as they were about to leave Lucas came running down the hall.

"Hey glad I caught you," he said happily. "My mom said I could invite some friends over. Do you guys wanna come hang out?''

Riley's face fell even further. _Damn it._

"Lucas we are really sorry but we will have to take a raincheck. We have a personal family matter to take care of," said Farkle for Riley. _Sorry_.

Lucas could see in Riley's eyes that she was sorry.

"No big deal," he said shaking it off. "Have a good day." He ran off.

Riley felt really bad. But this was so important to her. She, Maya, and Farkle walked out of school to catch the subway.

On their way they were almost hit by a taxi. "Hey watch it!" Maya yelled. _Breathe Riley. Breathe._ Maya and Farkle could see Riley was panicking and rushed her to the subway.

"Breathe Riles," Maya hushed. Riley began to relax. The subway began to take them home.

 **Hey so I plan to have the next chapter done by Friday. Reviews are LOVE.**


	3. Chapter 3

**This one is longer for you guys. You all are amazing. Song for the chapter is The Lonely by Christina Perri. This chapter is quite sad.**

When Riley and her friends arrived home her Uncle Shawn was already there sitting on the couch reading. "Shawn," Maya yelled. "Call my mom and tell her that you are here."

Riley smiled sadly and ran to hug Shawn. She had not seen him since last Christmas. Neither had Maya's mother Katy. "She is in the bathroom."

"Oh," Maya's face became blank. Riley could see she was nervous. Riley would be to if her father had feelings for anyone but… no. She began to peel the potatoes and get the salad ready. She also went the extra mile to put the chicken in the oven. As she cooked and prepared dinner her family began to show up. Farkle and Auggie began a game of cards while Maya and Josh talked about college.

"Riley," someone called. Riley turned away from the kitchen and she saw her grandparents. She ran to hug them. They kept squeezing until the timer for the for the chicken went off. "Would you like some help sweetheart?" Her grandmother asked. Riley shook her head. Then the door opened to reveal her father.

"Sorry I am late. Thank you for finishing dinner Riley," he said exasperated. He was soaked from the rain going on outside. He began to converse with her grandparents and Riley noticed the mood of the room became very somber. The weight of the meal was on all of them.

Riley set everything on the table and rang a little bell she owned to announce dinner.

This dinner had to be the most depressing and uncomfortable meals Riley had ever had, despite the reason for it. In the years before everyone had talked and even shared some laughs,but for some reason this year no one talked. Until the speeches.

Riley secretly despised the _speeches_ , hated them with a burning passion. Every year she would write about her mother and every year Maya or Farkle would read it aloud. The Riley would feel ashamed that she could not. The worst part for her though came after everyone left. Then… well she preferred not to think about it.

After the first speech delivered by her grandparents Riley had to hold everything back. Every emotion, every fiber of her brain telling her to break apart. _Gone she is gone._ _I think every one has finally realised that._

Then came Shawn's and Riley could not listen to a single one. She blocked the noise out…

"Riley," her father's voice called. She turned to look at him. "Your turn."

 _Breathe, breathe, breathe._ She quickly reached into her pocket and pulled out the folded piece of paper and handed it to Maya.

"I am sorry I am not delivering this to you and I have always felt bad but I want to ignore that and focus on why we are here," Maya began. Riley could not look at anyone. _Why do people do this? Act like grief is all the same? Does my family not realize that my grief is different? I do not want to talk about mom!_

"She died when I was six and all I have been able to do since is replay that day in my mind. Ever since then I have missed her. At first it was hard to sink in, some days I would come home from school and expect to see her making a snack for me and feeding Auggie a bottle." Maya was starting to tear up. As for her family and Farkle? They were beginning to cry. Riley was feeling terrible. _I must look heartless_. Her eyes were completely dry. It was something she had taught herself.

"I miss her. I miss her smile and her need to argue over her opinions. The little case she took to work everyday. The way she always knew what to say and the way she put my hair into pigtails with the little white bows. But what I can say that I hate is that I hate the empty feeling that I get when I think of her. But I rest well when I think…" Maya began to choke up. "When I think of the fact that she will always be watching me." Maya began to let out slow tears and all Riley could think of _Everyone hates me now. I became so negative in my writing._ But then she saw her father, despite the tears smiling at her. So she smiled back.

The night ended with goodbyes. Riley saying goodbye to her grandparents and Uncle Josh. As for Maya… it took a little convincing to let Josh go home. As they left Riley could overhear her father talking to Shawn.

"Where do you think you will go next," her father asked.

"Think I might stick around for a while," Shawn replied. Riley imedeantly glanced at May who was listening in. Maya looked… relieved to be honest. Riley smiled. _Good._

Riley went to hug Maya and Farkle. "If you need anything text us okay," Maya assured her. _One more hug._ They all hugged each other and parted ways.

When Auggie was put to bed and her father went to sleep Riley decided to read in bed. Pulling out one of her favorites _Emma_. Riley always felt like she could relate to the title character, always wanting people lives to be perfect, as long as she could be silent. Riley had always been good at reading other's emotions, even the ones they did not want shown. It was like her superpower. As she read on and on ... and on… and on…

 _Sirens were blaring and she was paralysed. She could not move, not think. She was frozen with fear. Where was she? She was hurting and there was glass on her. Scratches were all over her body. Where is mama? Where is she? What happened? Then she turned her head to look at her mother and screamed…_

"AAHH." Riley yelped. _Please no one come to my room_. No one did. _Thank God_. _Breathe. Just Breathe. Dammit, what the hell is wrong with me_.

She picked off her blankets that had been thrown on the ground and turned off her bedside lamp. She got back under the covers and began to think about her day. She had actually had a good day at school and became friends with the new boy. She could have done without the dodgeball to the face though. A smile cracked from her lips and Riley closed her eyes, hoping for sweet dreams.

 **Hey everyone! I hope to have the next chapter up by Sunday. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to P.M or review. I will start answering any questions from reviews at the A.N's end. PLEASE REVIEW. IT IS THE BEST GIFT!**


	4. Chapter 4

**SO SORRY! The power has been out all weekend!**

 **Song for the chapter by The Minnow and the Trout by A Fine Frenzy.**

 **More Rucas is coming! Finally I have been forgetting to put a disclaimer I DO NOT OWN GMW! Everyone is amazing! Please review!**

It had been a month since the dinner and Riley was _happy_ for once. Although she would occasionally wake up gasping for air at night the days would make her forget it. Everything was great.

"So The Lion King is being re-released," said Maya plopping down across from Riley at lunch. "Here are everyone's tickets." As Riley was given her's she noticed Lucas staring at ticket. _He has a gorgeous smile. Focus!_

"Thank you but," Lucas began.

"It is a tradition," Farkle answered. "Every year in an attempt to make money Disney re-releases a film. As tradition states we go and see it. You _will_ join us…" Farkle looked at his ticket "Friday at eight at Mariinsky theatre."

"Okay," Lucas replied. "Again thank you," he said to Maya

"Don't thank me it was Riley's idea," Maya relied , smirking at Riley.

"Thank you Riley," he said turning to her. She smiled at him. _RRRRIIIINNNNG! Shit._

"Time for gym Riley," Lucas said. _Great. Time to go hang out with Miss Bitchy Bradford._ "Don't worry," Lucas laughed. "I'll make sure no dodgeballs hit you in the face Riley." Riley smiled. She, Lucas and Maya went towards the gym while Farkle headed to English class.

During gym class the teacher broke the two groups to run laps. Maya was in the first group and Riley and Lucas in the second.

"So Halloween is coming up. Do you know what you are dressing as?" Riley nodded.

"Is it gonna be a surprise," Lucas asked. Again she nodded. "Cool."

"So I know this is a little weird but can I have your number so I can text you since we are good friends?"

 _Certainly_. RIley nodded.

"Great can you write it down for me in science? It would be awesome to talk to you." She blinked. "I am sorry that was kinda rude." Riley shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. _It is okay I have heard far worse_.

"Hello Lucas," called _that_ voice. _Duck and cover people!_ "Riley."

Missy Bradford stood in front of them. Wearing her bratty little short, jean shorts and a t-shirt that showed a little cleavage. _Puh-Lease!_

"So how are you adjusting Lucas," she asked, batting her eyes. _Ugh._

"Well," he replied. "This is a really nice adjustment. I think I will do well here."

"So tomorrow night I am hosting a party," she said. "Wanna come?"

 _AAAHHHH! We are doomed! I feel faint! Dammit she found the weak spot. Red Alert!_

"Actually I am going to a movie with my friends so I will have to take a raincheck," he said.

"Oh," Missy pouted. Riley could see that she was hurt. "Well I have a lot of parties so feel free to come to any of them." Right before she walked off she winked at him. Riley rolled her eyes.

Riley had always _loathed_ Missy and she knew the feeling was mutual. Missy had always made fun of how Riley was… _a mute_. Riley hated that people said that. It was so insensitive. Sometimes she just wanted to punch that bitch.

"Hey you okay," Lucas asked, snapping her out of her thoughts. Riley nodded. "You were so deep in thought I didn't know if you heard the whistle for our groups turn." She smiled at him. _So kind. Watch it Mathews. Boys are a no-no._ She followed him to the track.

After school on Friday Riley was doing some homework for Math class when her brother came running through the door, Ava trailing behind. _Oh boy._

"Hey Silent Riley," said Ava. Ava was really the only one who could point out Riley's silence. She had been doing since they were little. Riley gave her an awkward _What's up nod._ Ava cringed. "Never ever ever do that again," she whined. Riley rolled her eyes.

"Riles I'm HOOOME," shouted her father. _Cringe._ She waved to her father. _Ding!_ Riley's phone went off. She looked at it.

 **We all good for tonight? - Lucas**

Riley smiled.

 **Of course subway boy! - Riley**

 **See you subway girl - Lucas**

"Riley who are you texting," her father asked.

"Some boy named Lucas," said Auggie looking over Riley's shoulder. _Oh dear here we go._

"WHAT," her father shouted. "Is he going to movie night?!" Riley nodded. "Oh god I am screwed! I knew this would come one day."

"Riley your father is weird ," Ava giggled. "We need to fix that so he becomes normal." _Good luck with that little brat._

Riley rolled her eyes and left the room to continue texting Lucas.

Riley arrived at the Mariinsky theatre at seven-fifty to find everyone waiting.

"About time Riles we have been waiting for you," Maya joked.

They all walked into the theatre. "No butter has got to be the best popcorn topping," Maya argued.

"I have to disagree it is garlic salt," Farkle argued. Riley inwardly gagged.

"If you think that then by your own bag."

"Fine," Farkle shouted loudly, frightening the elderly couple ahead of them. "Sorry."

They bought snacks and walked into the theatre. The lights began to dim and Riley shared the popcorn with Lucas, trying not to drop it.

Maya gave Riley a hard time when she cried during Mufasa's death but when Riley looked she saw Lucas tearing up a bit. That made her feel better.

When the movie ended they all parted ways. "Here let me walk you home Riley, said Lucas politely. Riley smiled. _Gentleman_. They caught the next subway and Lucas smiled as they stepped on.

"Excuse me young man can you help me," a woman asked Lucas holding a map in her hands. As Lucas began to help an older gentleman sitting across from Riley leaned towards her. "Your boyfriend is such a kind boy," he said. Riley immediately blushed and looked down, mouthing a thank you.

Lucas turned back towards her. He smiled at her, and she to him.

They walked the remaining block to her building and she waved goodbye.

She walked inside to discover Auggie and Ava asleep on the couch and her father sleeping in his bedroom.

 **Goodnight - Riley**

 **Sweet Dreams - Lucas**

 **Hey guys I hope to have the next chapter up by Saturday. Please leave a review. You are all amazing!**


	5. Halloween

**Hey everyone. The chapter is a day early! Hooray! So even though up here it is time for winter holidays here is their Halloween. Also this Story is now on Wattpad!**

 **Email is working so feel free to P.M me!**

 **Song is If I Lose Myself by Onerepublic.**

 **This chapter will be have points of view from Riley and Lucas. This will be the only one to do that. Chapter features underage drinking. Lots of Rucas.**

The Halloween party was in full swing. Somehow Maya managed to coax them to all come. _Do I even know the host's name? Nope I do not._

Lucas had to admit he was having a lot of fun despite that he foolishly dressed up as Peter Pan. Maya had dressed up as a zombie and went to go dance … somewhere. He didn't know. Farkle and Smackle were dressed as… wizards. Once again he did not know. Smackle kept eyeing and as what he hoped was a joke, kept telling him to stop flirting with her. So far all he was focused on was not getting drunk.

It was just him and Riley, who was swaying to the music. She looked really nice. Despite how much he asked over text she did not tell him her costume. To be honest, he liked the surprise. She was dressed as a swan, Maya had explained to him. Riley had apparently always loved ballet and came dressed as the white swan from _Swan Lake._ She wore a long white tutu and had a jeweled leotard on. On her head sat a small tiara. On her feet were pretty white ballet shoes. She had pretty yet simple makeup on her face. When she smiled she looked _radiant_.

"You look really nice," he had to shout over the music. She smiled shyly. "I am gonna get something to drink. Be right back. Want anything?" She shook her head.

When he left Riley kept swaying to the fast music. She was actually having a lot of fun. She had a sip of beer and honestly kinda enjoyed it but did not dare to take another sip. If she came home drunk her father would _lock her in a closet,_ she decided.

She dressed as Odette from _Swan Lake_. Riley had always loved ballet. Her mother had a tradition of taking her a few times a year since she was to, but _Swan Lake_ , had to be her favorite. Riley had tried ballet once but found she enjoyed watching. The dancers made each step look so simple and easy.

She looked at her cup. _One more sip then I throw it out._ She lifted the cup to lips and took a small sip. Then she set it down. She could feel herself relaxing just a bit, enough to have fun but not enough to be completely reckless. She pulled her phone out to text Maya.

 **Where are you? -Riley**

 **Sorry I got ahead of myself :( -Maya**

 **It's okay -Riley**

 **Do you wanna go home? -Maya**

 **No I am having a lot of fun with Lucas -Riley**

 **;) -Maya**

 **No -Riley**

 **Whatever -Maya**

 **It is 9:30 I got to be home by 11. Leave at 10:30. Deal? -Riley**

 **Deal -Maya**

Riley put her phone away and noticed that Lucas had returned.

Lucas had just returned to see Riley smiling at her phone. She glanced out and saw him and out her phone away. "Got in touch with Maya," he asked. She nodded. "She dancing somewhere?" Again she nodded. She took a sip from her cup. "You are drinking?" She looked surprised and quickly set the cup down. Giving him a nervous smile and shrugged. _Sorry_. "No need to be sorry just be carefull." _God I sound like her boyfriend. Boyfriend?_

Riley thought it was cute that he was looking out for her. Why did she pick up that cup?

Was she nervous? Probably.

With that extra sip her mind began to relax. The music was nice. All about living life to the fullest.

 _If I lose myself tonight_

 _It will be by your side._

She waved her thumb, indicating she was going to go dance. _Really? I am gonna go dance? I can't dance! Meh it might be fun. Shut up brain._ She walked to the area where everyone was dancing and found Farkle and Smackle.

"So if we dance for another twenty minutes," Farkle began.

"And have drank three glasses of water," Smackle continued.

"We will begin sweating in.." Riley waked into the middle of their conversation not wanting to hear the answer.

"Hello Riley Matthews," Smackle said. She gave her a _What is up_ nod. Isadora grimaced.

"Hey Riley. I saw Maya earlier. I think I saw her with… your Uncle Josh in tow," Farkle said slowly and contorted his face.

Maybe it was the alcohol but Riley was calm. _I will text Maya later._ She began to just dance, awkwardly, but she began to dance. She was actually having a lot of fun. She saw Lucas out of the corner of her eyes. _Yep that is why I drank._ Again she lifted up her cup and drank it all. Lucas was carrying a cup and, stupidly, she grabbed it _and drank it._

"Geez you okay," he asked smiling. She quickly nodded with her eyes closed. Shaking her head and opening her eyes back open. That one song was on loop and she began to really like that song.

 _Take us down and we keep trying_

 _40,000 feet keep flying_

She was now fully dancing and there was no stopping her.

Lucas came back to check on Riley with a drink in his hand and Riley drank it. That was unexpected. Then she was dancing and it became clear. It did not take much to get Riley drunk.

She was dancing and appeared to be having the time of her life. So Lucas started dancing. He was having fun dancing and so was Farkle… wait where was Farkle and Smackle? He did not know. He turned back and kept focusing on the music.

That one song kept replaying and he loved it. Dancing by himself and as the night progressed, dancing with RIley. She was currently drinking another cup and going crazy. _She looked adorable,_ he thought. He looked at his watch. 10:30. Time to go. He texted Maya

 **Riley is drunk I am taking her home -Lucas**

 **You got her drunk. Really subway boy? -Maya**

 **I did not. According to Farkle you are with Josh. Smooth -Lucas**

 **He knows the host. We are hanging out. Promise not to tell? -Maya**

 **We all know -Lucas**

 **Okay I tell her later -Maya**

 **Alright I am going -Lucas**

 **Keep her safe and do not let her dad see her -Maya**

 **Okay got it -Lucas**

 **Secret key on the top of the door frame. Auggie is not home. Good luck -Maya**

 **Got it -Lucas**

Lucas looked at Riley. She was drinking another cup.

"Okay enough for you," he said pulling the cup away from her. She reached out for it like a child. "Time to go home." She nodded. He took her hand and looked around for Farkle. He found him and Smackle in a corner talking to each other.

"Riley is drunk so I am taking her home," he told them.

"Be careful with her. No cabs," Farkle shouted as Lucas turned around.

Riley waved to them and had an impish grin on her face. "Come on Miss Swan," he told her. Again she nodded. Listening to Farkle's weird request, he got himself and Riley on the subway. He was no longer surprised that no one was staring. Riley was smiling very drunkenly and was leaning on him.

When the subway stopped he got Riley off the subway. when they got off she almost toppled over."Woah there," he cried. He quickly grabbed her before hitting the ground. He thought for a moment. She was still awake but there was no way she could walk all the way there without hurting herself. So he decided. He picked her up and put her in his arms. _Bridal style_ , he thought.

He walked to her building. Through the lobby, up the stairs. The entire time Riley kept looking up at him. Big brown eyes open and staring in awe. When he reached her apartment he grabbed the key from the top of the door very quietly he crept in.

"Where is your room," he whispered. Riley pointed in one direction and Lucas found her room. It was very nice and very… her. He set her down on her bed.

"You good," he whispered. She nodded. Then leaning forward she kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you."

He left the house very, very confused.

 **How do you feel? You had a long night -Lucas**

 **My head hurts but dad does not know. Did you bring me home? -Riley**

 **Yeah. Do you remember much? -Lucas**

 **Nothing after you told me it was time to go -Riley**

 **Thank you guys so much. Sorry for the slight cliffhanger. I am really ready for the next few chapters. Just so you know I was asked about how long it would be and I do not know but at least 15 chapters I hope. Chapters will hopefully get longer. I hope to have the next chapter up on next Saturday.**

 **Please review!**


	6. The Aftermath

**Chapter is early! I am AWESOME!**

 **Song for the chapter is Love, Love, Love by Avalanche City**

 **So I got a few questions about if Riley said "Thank you". Sorry but she did not! I should have made that more clear.**

 **I also decided to do the same thing I did last chapter and occasionally switch between views of Riley and Lucas. Not in every chapter but in some.**

 **Finally, I am added Lucas's mother as an OC but I think I got it down. I am nervous because Lucas never really talked about his parents. If he does eventually in the show this will not be connected.**

Riley was laying in bed on the first of November, pretending to be sick so that her dad did not realize she was hungover. _Damn is my alcohol intake really high or can I just not handle it?_ She picked the lesser of two evils.

While her dad was grading papers and Auggie was playing video games with his friend Dewey, no _Doy,_ she was texting Maya.

 **Is it true Josh was there last night? -Riley**

 **Yeah he knew the host -Maya**

 **You hung out with him! Were either of you drunk!? -Riley**

 **Yes and No -Maya**

 **MAYA! What about ring power! -Riley**

 **Ring power! Speaking of drunk I heard you got wasted! -Maya**

 **Maybe -Riley**

 **Maybe! Riley according to Lucas you got off the subway and almost fell onto the tracks! -Maya**

 **So it was my first time. Truce -Riley**

 **(Waves white flag) -Maya**

 **Good now do your homework. I know you have some -Riley**

 **Fine** _ **MOM**_ **-Maya**

 _Yay,_ she thought. She didn't remember speaking last night to anyone so that was good. She did however remember dancing like a freak show. _It was still fun. I see why people do it._ What else did she remember? _Lucas. Lucas got me home safely and my dad did not hear. Good._

She heard footsteps down the hall and quickly pretended to be resting. The door opened.

"Sweetheart." It was her father. "I know about last night." _Fuck._

She turned to look at him. "I get you had fun but you were really irresponsible. Getting DRUNK? I did not raise you to be this way." Riley looked away from her father. She was not ashamed, but embarrassed.

"It get's better," he said smiling evilly. "Guess who told me. Really, guess." _Please don't be…_ "Lucas!" _Shit_ She quickly sat up in bed, giving her a slight headrush.

"YES! The same boy who helped you hide it told me! He even apologized." _Why? There was no reason to apologize. It was MY fault!_

Her sick father began to laugh. "So now, if you do it again you will be grounded forever!"

Riley rolled her eyes and turned over in bed.. _Now I see where Auggie and I get the dramatics from._

He sat on her bed placing his hand on her back. "All I want is for my girl to be safe," he said protectively. Riley held his hand for a few minutes before he left the room.

Lucas had just gotten off the phone with Mr. Matthews and was very worried. _What if we can't hang out anymore? I probably got her into big trouble. She must hate me._ His phone beeped.

 **So you told my dad -Riley**

 **Yeah. I'm so sorry -Lucas**

 **It's okay. Just can't get drunk again -Riley**

 **Good. Again so sorry -Lucas**

 **Meh. I had a lot of fun -RIley**

 **Cool. Got to go. Mom's home -Lucas**

 **Bye -Riley**

Lucas saw his mother Sarah walking through the doors of their home, arms full of groceries. He went up to her and took half of them.

"Thank you Lucas," His mother praised. "Sorry that the shopping took so long."

"No problem just got in touch with some friends."

His mother shot up an eyebrow while she began tying her sandy hair up. "So, I know you went to a party last night. Did you make good choices?"

"Always mom," he chuckled.

"Well? What happened?"

"Just hung out with Riley for a while. She is usually really responsible but she revealed her alcohol limit is very small." Sarah had never encouraged drinking but was not the parent who never let it happen. She let Lucas go to parties. He had become much more responsible since moving.

"Was she okay," she asked worried.

"Yeah mom she's fine. Got her home in one piece." He glanced away when she turned to start putting groceries away. _Riley probably would not wanting my mom knowing about the kiss when Riley does not know herself._

When his mother turned around she saw that something was on her boy's mind. "What's eatin ya'," she asked calmly.

"Just something happened that she can't know about."

"What?"

"She kissed my cheek when I got her home."

Sarah saw that one coming. She knew that Lucas hid some things about the girl but when he talked about her she sounded lovely. She motioned for him to follow her to the couch where they sat down. "Well how do you feel about her?"

"I have only known her for two months and we can't really talk normally with her, but I feel like I can instantly trust her."

"Why can you not communicate normally," she asked.

"We only talk through text."

"I am a little confused Lucas."  
"This is really private what I am about to tell you," Lucas warned. His mother nodded her head for him to continue. "You see… Riley… " It was hard for him to say. It was really private unless you met her. "Riley doesn't talk. According to Maya she hasn't in nine years. But I don't know why. So then she gets drunk and kisses me and I do not know what to do."

Lucas could see that his mother was thinking. He was so nervous about telling her about Riley. His mother was kind but had not ever dealt with something like this. Riley's silence wasn't completely secret, you learned about it once you met her, but it was one of her biggest defining personality traits.

"You need to text her now and let her decide what she would like to do," she answered. "Then listen to how she responds." Lucas nodded nervously. _How would she react?_

"Another thing," his mother added. "Remember Zay?" _Oh no._ But he nodded. "His mother called to tell me he will be moving here and attending your school." Before Lucas could speak his mother held up her hand. " I don't want you to speak, but to listen. Maybe Zay has changed, maybe he has not. But I want you to stay the way you now are. Kind, caring, thinking before you act. Got it?" He nodded. _Why is he coming here? I missed him but he led me down a troubled path._

"Now go text Riley and I mean now," his mother said firmly. "I got to go put the groceries away. Lucas grabbed his phone and began to think of what to say.

Riley decided if her father knew that she was hungover she could quit the act. So while her father and Auggie were building a model airplane in Auggie's room, she was watching TV. That was until her phone beeped.

 **Hey I got to tell you something I should have said earlier -Lucas**

 **What? Is everything ok -Riley**

 **Last night when I got you to you room you kissed me on the cheek. I thought you deserved to know -Lucas**

 _I did WHAT! Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

 **I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable -Ri;ey**

 **It's okay -Lucas**

 **Could we forget and never bring it up -Riley**

 **Totally -Lucas**

 **Again so sorry -Riley**

 **No problem could have been way worse -Lucas**

 **See you at school subway boy -Riley**

 **Feel better subway girl -Lucas**

Riley put down her phone and sighed. _Man I fucked up._ _Now what?_

Her emotions were running wild and she went into her her room and curled into a ball on her bed. _What am I doing with my life?_

 **So freaking excited for next chapter! It will have a lot of Rucas! Going to some family so hope to have it by the 4 of January. Sorry if it takes that long but it might be earlier. Please review! Happy Holidays.**


	7. An Unusual Game Of Twenty Questions

**Song for the chapter is Indian by Sleeping at Last. I IMPLORE you all to listen while reading this chapter. It really works with the chapter.**

 **SO MUCH RUCAS!**

 **This chapter was so hard to write. I want to start making the chapters longer and this chapter was much harder to write. Let me know in the reviews what you think of it.**

 **This chapter has a lot of switching views. Finally a lot of this takes place during text so some TEXTS ONLY do not have the best punctuation.**

It was a normal Friday night for Riley. Homework was done, Auggie was out in the living room playing video games, dad was in the kitchen grading papers. Riley wanted to text Maya but Katie grounded her after learning about the party.

Riley was reading her copy of Emma by Jane Austen, losing herself in the book. When the knock on the door came, she jolted to attention and opened the door. Her father was there, blurry eyed and hair disheveled. She was inwardly laughed at her usually well put together father for looking… well… not put together.

"I can barely keep my eyes open. I am going to bed. I told your brother what time to got to bed just make sure he listens." He yawned. "Love you, goodnight." Before he walked away Riley pulled him into a hug. Squeezing him and then letting go. _Love you_.

He left the room and Riley sat back down on her bed. As she began to pick up her book her phone went off.

 **How are you? -Lucas**

 **Why do you ask? -Riley**

 **Honestly bored out of my mind -Lucas**

 **So you text me? -Riley**

 **No one else to talk to -Lucas**

 **Gasp! So rude -Riley**

 **:( -Lucas**

 **Whatever -Riley**

 **Wanna play a game -Lucas**

 **No no! It's "Shall we play a game?" -Riley**

 **What? -Lucas**

 **Never mind but yes let us play a game -Riley**

 **One sec mom's calling me -Lucas'**

Riley relaxed in her bed, turning off her overhead light and keeping her overhead lamp on. She set Emma back on her shelf. Quickly running into the kitchen to grab a snack she saw Auggie playing video games on the couch. _Was that all sixth grade boys did?_ She grabbed a bag of pretzels out of the cabinet and closed the cabinet. _Might as well get comfortable._ Attempting to quickly run back to her her room she slipped on the wooden floor and fell on her back. _Ow goddammit, ow!_ Auggie looked at her then shrugged his shoulders. After all this was a common event in the Matthew's house.

Picking herself up she ran into her bedroom and changed into some blue sweatpants and a white tank top. Then hilariously jumping into bed, landing on her phone which began to beep.

 **Okay I'm back -Lucas**

 **What game can we possibly play on our phones? -Riley**

 **Twenty questions -Lucas**

 **Are you DRUNK? -Riley**

 **Honestly a little -Lucas**

 **Lucas! No more drinking. I don't want you to fall on a subway platform like I did. -Riley**

 **Fine so are we playing? -Lucas**

Riley thought about it. Lucas was now a really good friend of her's but twenty questions could turn into a really personal game. Then again Maya and Farkle knew almost everything about her. _Well you only have a few friends like this in life._

 **Alright but you have to ask the first question and what happens on the phone stays on the phone -Riley**

 **Deal now first question will be simple.**

 **No.1 What is your favorite color? -Lucas**

 **Easy. Red -Riley**

 **Why? -Lucas**

 **It's bright and energetic. Do you have to answer? -Riley**

 **Sure. It's blue. Makes me think of the lakes near my old house. Now ask me a question -Lucas**

 **Oh right sorry**

 _ **No.1**_ **What part of Texas did you live in? -Riley**

 **The northern part near the panhandle -Lucas**

 **Do you miss home? -Riley**

 **Kinda -Lucas**

 **What do you mean? How do you not miss it? -Riley**

 **Stuff happened there that I'm not really happy about. -Lucas**

 **Do you want to talk about it? -Riley**

 **Not really -Lucas**

 **Well if you want to I am here -Riley**

 **Sorry I'm downing the game down**

 **No.2 Favorite place on earth? -Lucas**

 **Svorski's bakery -Riley**

 **Why? -Lucas**

 **The owner Mrs. Svorski was really close to my family. When I was younger she kept talking about how she wanted my mom to take over the bakery but three years ago Mrs Svorski passed away and Maya's mother Katie took it over. I'll take you there some time. -Riley**

 **Thanks -Lucas**

 **I'll be honest this game is getting kinda sad -Riley**

 **Do you wanna stop? -Lucas**

Lucas was staring at his phone. He had started texting Riley at eight-thirty because he was honestly depressed. He was sitting on the couch, the tv playing old Law and Order marathons. His mother was out on a date the one guy… Thomas. He was annoyed and depressed. So he decided to drink a bit and text Riley. Sure that doesn't sound responsible but he was good at handling his alcohol and Riley was… What was she?

Now only two questions in he was sadder than he was when he started. She might even be considering stopping. Maybe they were too early in their friendship to play such a personal game.

 **Let's keep playing -Riley**

 **Really -Lucas**

 **I mean Maya and Farkle knew a lot about me so I guess you should as well. Your question is If you could go to anytime period where would you go? -Riley**

The game continued on and questions were lighter from " **Lucas what is your favorite Disney movie**?" _The Lion King_. Or " **Riley what is your favorite planet?** " _Pluto. Even if RIley had to argue about it for a few minutes._

 **Riley what do you want to be when you grow up? -Lucas**

 **I'm not sure. Maybe a writer. What about you? -Riley**

 **This is really private and there is a story that goes with it. One day when I came home from school one of our horses was foaling. That means she was about to give birth. And no one was home. So I called the vet and he walked me through it. I now think I want to be a veterinarian. -Lucas**

 **That is amazing -RIley**

Questions and more questions yada yada yada " **How close are you with your parents Lucas**?"

 **Dear god Riley you had to ask that? -Lucas**

 **I'm sorry for asking -Riley**

 **No need to be sorry I'll answer. My mom and dad divorced when I was ten. Now my mom Sarah is going on dates with his one guy Thomas and he is a good guy but it's kinda awkward. -Lucas**

 **Wow thats tough. Does Thomas seem to like you? -Lucas**

 **Yeah he seems pretty cool with me and treats me nicely. Better than my dad does now. -Lucas**

 **Good just be nice but be yourself and don't sabotage the relationship. Your mom seems happy. -Riley**

 **What about you? You and your dad seem really close. What about your mom? -Lucas**

It was ten minutes before she responded.

 **My mom died in a car crash when I was a little kid -Riley**

 **How do you feel now? -Lucas**

 **You didn't say sorry. Thank you for that. I really miss her, so much but I got dad and Auggie -Riley**

When Riley responded the questions once and again got lighter but far more personal than before. " **What is the best feeling you ever felt Riley?"** They laughed over Riley's rant about the Knicks " **I am there at Maddison Garden seeing these fake fans jumping on this bandwagon like the freaking heat or something and if you're in the garden you better represent the Knicks!"**

 **Riley back in Texas I was a different guy and I did something bad and I had to leave. Now one of my old friends is moving here. What do I do? -Lucas**

 **See if he changed. If not avoid him if he changed slowly get closer to him. -Riley**

 **Thanks. Riley did you know I'm a year older than you and Maya and Farkle? -Lucas**

Riley almost choked in her potato chip and had to excuse herself so she could go get Auggie to bed.

With question still going on it was getting later at night. Riley was yawning occasionally but was still having fun. _Thank whoever invented texting._ Then came the question she feared the most.

 **Riley if I may ask how come you don't talk? -Lucas**

Oh how she was scared. She wanted to answer so badly but at the same time wanted to hide her phone and never have to answer that question.

 **Can I not answer that question right now maybe later? -Riley**

 **Totally yeah I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable -Lucas**

Riley began to text thanks but stopped and paused herself.

 **Okay I don't talk because my mom and I were in a taxi on our way to see the nutcracker when I was six and a drunk hit us and she was killed in the accident. -Riley**

It all made sense now to Lucas. He shouldn't have asked but he was tired and stupid so he did. When she asked not to answer it made him feel like the biggest jackass on the planet. Then she answered and Lucas shocked. How someone could keep that inside herself for so long amazed him. He knew she was strong but now he knew how strong she really was.

 **You didn't have to answer. I am so so so x100 sorry that you felt like you had to answer. -Lucas**

 **Hey it was my choice to answer. No need to apologise that many times. But my question for you is Why are you so understanding of me?-Riley**

He had to think about that. He thought about the old Lucas who probably would never have even spoke to her. All the kids at school talked about how weird Riley was, especially Missy which is why he tried to stay far away from her. He never really thought why. He just thought that's what friends do.

 **I just always thought that's what friends do. When I moved here my mom wanted me to be a better person so I changed and now Im a lot kinder than I used to be. Does that bother you? -Lucas**

 **Of course not just not many kids treat me that way when they meet me. Thank you -Riley**

 **No biggie -Lucas**

 **Hey it's almost midnight I better get to sleep. This was alot of fun -Riley**

 **Night subway girl -Lucas**

 **Sleep well subway boy -Riley**

As Lucas put down his phone the door to the apartment opened and his mother stepped through, smiling to herself.

"How was the date mom," Lucas asked.

"Oh you're still up? It was really… nice. I tell you more in the morning. It's almost midnight go to bed," he mother said still slightly smiling.

As Lucas listened to her he heard his mother shout "What kept you up?"

"Talking to Riley," he shouted.

 **Okay so I am so nervous about this chapter. If I could get some feedback** _**would love it**_ **. Next chapter will be up by January 11th. Thank you all. I am also thinking about writing another story after this one and could use some prompts or ideas.**


	8. English Reports and Worrying Fathers

**So my update was late and I'm really sorry. Things in my work life have gotten rough. Thank you for all the support.**

 **Song for the chapter is Starlight by Muse Nice long chapter for you all.**

 **Minor spoilers for Fahrenheit 451**

It was Tuesday and Riley despised Tuesday's. They were just a day in the week that you hated. _You still had to wait for you early release from school on Wednesday but yesterday was only Monday. Tick tock. Tick tock, the clock is mocking me._ It was that time of the month that made Riley just want to hit something. At least Thanksgiving was next week.

It was English class and even though Riley liked her teacher Harper, she just wanted to go home desperately. Harper was talking about summaries and thesis's in writing. It was perfectly clear to Riley that Harper was bored by this topic. _Can't she just assign us another comic book to read? Then maybe Maya would start doing her homework and earn her phone back._

She had her head on the cold desk, blowing at little strands of hair that kept getting in her face. Riley glanced over at Lucas who had a blank expression on his face. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Missy Bradford constantly sneaking little glances at him. _Ugh. Does she realize that we're the 21st century? Her whole life can't revolve around a guy._

"So now your assignment is to work with your seat partner and read a book's thesis then work to re-write it. Perhaps you put it in another time period or from the view of another character," Harper explained. "The reason you get to work with a partner is because I have a challenge for you." The class began to groan. "Hush. Now your challenge is to not only re-write the thesis to make it more interesting but re-write the story as well to match your thesis." Many kids in the class began to complain. Riley was smiling and inwardly laughing. _Come on it's high school. What did they expect?_

"Again hush!" Riley considered Harper very… strong hearted. She knew that Harper thought the same as her. In fact it was Harper who told them that this year would be easier than next by a long shot. She could understand why Harper might be frustrated.

"Come on people this is simple! At least try it. Who knows, one of you might enjoy it. This is due next week."

Lucas turned to look at her and she had a strange fluttering feeling in her stomach. _Damn you stomach. Why are you so annoying!?_

"So I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my house to work on the project. If you want to," he quickly added. She thought about it. _Well it beats being at my house with Auggie and dad._ She nodded and grabbed a piece of paper. _You'll have to wait for me to text my brother,_ she wrote.

"I never knew you had a brother," he exclaimed big smile on his face.

As the last few minutes of class were finishing up and everyone was cleaning up Riley saw Lucas in conversation with Missy, who was twirling her hair.

"You should come over next Friday. It's gonna be a lot of fun," she was telling him. That was bothering her. _Whatever it's his own life. You need to calm down Riles. You too hormones._

When the conversation ended she glanced at Lucas who began to explain. "Missy was inviting me to a party during Thanksgiving break. Probably not gonna go though, not ready for that yet." _What the heck does that mean?_ "Meet me in front of the school okay?" She nodded.

When the bell rang Harper released them and everyone flooded into the halls. Riley made her way to her locker and pulled out her phone to text Auggie. He wasn't supposed to text in class but she wouldn't be home to see him and wanted him to know.

 **Sorry to bother you during class. Got a project at a friends house. Will you let dad know? Should be home later. Will text exact details later -Riley**

As she put her books in her locker and grabbed her bag her phone beeped.

 **Sure now but don't text again -Auggie**

With that out of the way she gathered her books and began to walk out of the school, waving to Maya and Farkle on her way out. Who happened to decide to follow her out.

"Where you off to Riles," Maya questioned her. Riley cocked her head in a motion that said to follow her.

She met Lucas on the steps to their school and immediately was thankful for the fact she brought a jacket to school today. It wasn't that cold this morning but it was freezing now. _I do regret wearing the red dress._ The dress went down to mid-calf and she had no leggings underneath. Despite that she tried to hide it her teeth were chattering.

"Hey Ranger Rick," Maya yelled.

"Why do you call me that," Lucas asked.

"Aww does that hurt your feelings," she teased.

"No," he shouted, if anything a little too quickly.

"Well what's happening then," Farkle asked.

"Riley and I have a project in English and she's coming to my house to work on it."

Riley does your dad know," Maya asked worried. Riley shook her head. "Good for you Maya applauded.

"We better get going," Lucas encouraged and with that Riley waved goodbye and followed Lucas.

The subway had quite a few people on it so Lucas gave his seat to Riley while he stood.

"What if I fell backwards into you right now," he joked. Riley laughed very quietly at that. She began to stare at an older couple. The man had produced flowers for the woman. A beautiful bouquet of white roses and daisies. The woman appeared ecstatic and Riley could not blame her. Riley had always loved daisies and grew them on balcony and when she was younger would braid them into her hair. _How romantic._

As the train stopped passengers left and more came on. After a few stops Lucas grabbed her hand and pulled her out of her seat. When the train stopped, still holding her hand, she followed him up the stairs and out of the station.

Walking up the street she saw a neighborhood not too different from her own. She followed him up the steps of an older brown apartment building.

"Sorry but the elevator's broken so we got to walk up the stairs," he told her. "Fifth floor." Shrugging it off Riley followed him up the stairs. _I need to work out more._

When they finally reached the fifth floor Riley was no longer freezing from the weather and was trying to hide that she was panting and out of breath.

"Sorry 'bout that. My mom's gonna be home in about an hour."

He opened the door and Riley saw a quaint little apartment. A small blue sofa sat in front of a dark coffee table and little trinkets were scattered all around. Paintings were hung on the beige walls and a few were crooked. A nice tiny window seat sat in the corner and there was a vague smell of… cinnamon. Maybe the apartment was not nearly as large as her's it was comfy. She knew he lived only with his mother so the house seemed perfect for them.

"I know it doesn't look like much but it's home," he rushed. She smiled at him. _It's very nice._ He sat his books on the table and she followed his lead and sat on the couch.

"So my mom has a huge collection of classic books under the window seat over there if you think we should look." Riley shrugged and walked over to the corner with Lucas following behind. There was a shelf under the seat and they began to look through.

"What about Jane Eyre? It looks interesting." _If you've never read we won't do that good of a job._

"Charlotte's Web?" _Depressing._

"Of Mice and Men?" _Too much hidden violence._

"Romeo and Juliet?" _Seriously! Does he even know how that story goes?_

"Frankenstein?" _I didn't know that was considered a classic._

"Beezus and Ramona?" _What the hell man?_

"Oh how 'bout Fahrenheit 451!" _Yes! Bingo!_

Riley nodded her head furiously. _I've wanted to read that one for so long._

"Yeah my mom got me to read it when I was ten. I thought how weird it was that they would ban the books. Why would you ban books?"

They sat back on the couch and he opened it up to read the opening of the book.

"It was a pleasure to burn…" Lucas then read the story of Guy Montag, a fireman who burned houses. How he met young and questioning Clarisse and how he soon began to question his life. As he read the story Riley found herself relaxing, laying her head on his shoulder.

They made it to the end of the first of three chapter's before Lucas's mother walked through the door with a large canvas in her hand.

Realizing how close she was to Lucas she quickly lifted her head up, giving her a slight head rush.

"Oh hello," Sarah welcomed. "You must be Riley. It's so great to finally meet you." Walking over to the couch she pulled Riley into a hug and kissed Lucas on the cheek.

"Mom how was work," Lucas asked as Sarah walked into the kitchen.

"Great! We got a really aspiring writer who perfectly understands the teenage experience. I kept telling Miriam that we should get more teens into writing. I also bought this canvas for a huge discount. Twelve bucks!" Riley heard the sink turn on when Lucas turned to look at her.

"My mom works at a publishing company and as you can see she is very enthusiastic. But she's also a part time artist."

"Is Riley going to be staying for dinner?"

 _Oh shit. Has dad texted me?_

Indicating that she needed a minute she checked her phone finding five messages.

 **Riley you can stay let me know where you are -Dad**

 **Riley will you be staying later -Dad**

 **Be home for bed -Dad**

 **Riley where are you -Dad**

 **Riley TEXT ME -Dad**

It was almost funny how much he freaked out.

 **Sorry dad my phone was off. I am working on English project with Lucas his mom invited me to dinner. Can I stay? -Riley**

It was a few minutes before her father responded. Riley could imagine that he was having a mini panic attack. But what surprised her the most was his answer.

 **Fine. But be back by eight -Dad**

Riley turned to Lucas nodding her head.

"Yeah ma' she'll be eating," Lucas shouted.

"Great. I'm making spaghetti."

Riley and Lucas began to outline their thesis. Lucas suggested rewriting the story in the point of view of Clarisse. They decided that Lucas would present and while they would both write the story, that Riley would have the final say in what was presented. While they worked Riley was given permission to take the book home so that she may be able to "...write an adequate story and not rely on Lucas's fried up brain," in Sarah's words.

As Sarah announced dinner Riley looked to see that it was six o'clock. She followed Lucas into the next room where a very tiny table held pasta, sauce, salad, and garlic bread.

"Sorry it's so crowded but Lucas and aren't that used to hosting," Sarah apologised. Before Riley could wave it off Sarah went to grab a water pitcher from the kitchen.

"I told my mom about you not speaking. Was that okay," Lucas asked worried. Riley nodded. _No problem._

When Sarah returned she filled each of their glasses and announced that they could eat. Although Riley was the first to have her plate filled by Sarah Lucas was the first to ask for seconds. "Dear god boy leave some for the rest of us," Sarah chastised.

As they settled into their food Sarah took the chance to question her son.

"So Lucas I gotta school newsletter today about football tryouts next week. Thinkin' of trying out?"

"I don't know. Probably too small."

"Are you kiddin me boy? You were nine pounds three ounces and I had to deliver you in the back of your aunt's truck. You allready on seconds while I haven't even finished my pasta. You are certainly big enough," she shouted.

"I will never think of Aunt Jane's truck the same ever again. Thanks mom."

For the next few minutes they were eating until somehow the topic of driving came up.

"Riley you gonna take driver's ed at the beginning of the next semester," Sarah questioned. Riley nodded. She was very excited to get her license even if it was a nightmare to drive in New York.

"Before we moved I taught Lucas how to drive since the move caused us to cut back on expenses." Riley nodded. New York was expensive.

"Ma' you gotta plan for that canvas yet," Lucas asked.

"Yes, my editor Miriam asked to have a painting of the Brooklyn Bridge to hang in her office. That old hag nagged and nagged until I agreed to do it for fifteen hundred bucks." _I wonder if all those paintings were done by Ms. Friar._

Lucas looked at the clock and Riley followed his lead seeing it was already seven thirty.

"Oh I gotta get Riley home," he exclaimed.

"Alright you make sure she gets home safe. I don't want police showing up at my door in the morning."

Riley grabbed her bag and the book, putting her coat on. Walking down the stairs was much easier than going up, she decided.

"Sorry 'bout my mom," Lucas apologised. "She's a handful but I love her." Riley smiled at that.

They walked to the station in comfortable silence. The sky was dark but the sounds and lights were loud. _I wish I could see some stars_. As they walked down the subway steps it was then that Riley realized how close they were to each other and when they stepped apart to let people through she stayed farther away as they made their way back to each other. The subway ride was quiet until someone catcalled out to Riley.

"Do you wanna try saying that again to my face," Lucas shouted wrapping his arm around Riley. The teen backed off.

Lucas didn't remove his arm until they got off the subway.

When they reached Riley's apartment she waved him a goodbye and walked into the home. Her father sat on the couch with his arms crossed.

"If this happens again you will not be able to go out of this house," he cried dramatically.

"Riley he's been freaking out all day. It was really annoying. Why did your partner have to be Lucas," Auggie asked.

Riley waved it off and began to work on the rest of her math homework.

 **Sorry if my mom was over bearing. Wanna come over tomorrow? -Lucas**

 **Yeah and your mom was really sweet. Thanks for having me -Riley**

 **Night subway girl -Lucas**

 **Sweet dreams subway boy -Riley**

 **So updates will be a little less frequent but will be longer chapters.**

 **Please Please Please review.**

 **Thanks**


	9. Football And Midnight Cereal

**So there are big rumors that Rucas may be happening next season! YAAAAAAAAY!**

 **Also shoutout to Pony-Edward-Lucas-Girl! Your comment was so sweet!**

 **Song for the chapter is Au Revoir by Onerepublic**

 **Please review!**

 **Disclaimer: Beleive me if I owned this show the whole Lucaya story line would be forever banned from media. If you ship them, I don't mind, but…...**

" '... and while the strange men pulled Clarisse through the dark hall she saw that they would be taking her to a dark room. Her heart was thumping and she was confused on why they brought her here. When they opened the door she saw her Uncle sitting at the table, waving to her. The strange men pushed the wands they carried at her back and she sat in the little chair. She sat up straight and looked the men in the eyes. Only to see them put a bullet through her head.' "

Lucas was in English class reading Riley's story to their class. Sure it was _their_ class story but to be honest she wrote the final draft. The decided to write Fahrenheit 451 in the point of view of Clarisse. He read it the day before and it was good. It was more than good it was amazing. She really captured the whole spirit of Clarisse. At first he was a little worried about the length, but then again it deserved to be read.

As the class politely applauded Harper asked "Lucas will you read us your thesis again?"

He nodded and read the thesis over again. "A forbidden pleasure is one of the best and worst pleasure in the world. Of course one could be the only one to be able to have it, but they could never share it with another. That was Clarisse's problem. Literature, the thing she would die for, was her forbidden pleasure."

"Thank you Lucas and Riley that was a very eloquent retelling of the story and gives us a chance for discussion. So in Clarisse and Guy's society books and advanced education are banned. They live in a secluded bubble from the rest of the poverty ridden world. Now why do you think people would be so afraid of intelligence Lucas?"

"Maybe because they were worried about the effects it would have. How much power it would bring to the people."

"Very good idea Lucas. Now because we as Americans are so privileged we often forget what some of the world has to go through to get an education and be able to read. In many areas of the world women are discouraged and forbidden to go to school. Only about thirty percent of South Sudan is literate. You may not understand but reading is the best tool any person can give you."

The bell rang as Harper finished her lesson and assigned them homework and Lucas walked up to Riley. Having learned her lesson since last week she was wrapping herself in to jackets, one white and then a light blue one on top. She then put on a red hat and a red scarf. With her hair pulled into a elegant braid she looked very nice today. Very pretty. _Shut up brain._

"Hey Riley. Do you have anything going on after school," he asked. _Oh god this sounds like I'm asking her out._ She shook her head. "I've got football tryouts and I wanted to know if you might come. I could really use some support. It last maybe an hour and a half" She appeared to ponder it, before nodding her head. _YES!_ He was really nervous and it would be really nice to have some support.

"Great I'll see you at the field in about ten?" She nodded and walked off. Before running off he handed her his jacket. "You might need this."

JQA's football stadium was big and open, with a feeling of emptiness considering the only people there were those trying out and maybe some of their friends. It was also a nice short walk away fromt the school He saw that there were already a group of boys on the field and a girl, all in pads for the tryouts. Someone slammed a pair of pads into his arms and he was ordered to run into the locker rooms to change.

It was freezing out and Riley was gladly wearing Lucas's jacket. _How so many people are willing to play in weather like this is a mystery to me._ She watched as each person was weighed and given packets that the whole team went over. Tryouts would last three days. Health on the first, skill on the second, and callbacks on the third. At least that's how Farkle explained it. Speaking of which she grabbed her phone out to text him.

 **You out with Smackle? -Riley**

 **Yeah she wanted to see this documentary about planets -Farkle**

 **Damn she practically has you on a leash -Riley**

 **What's that supposed to mean?! -Farkle**

 **Nothing just that you obviously like her -Riley**

 **She's my girlfriend after all. -Farkle**

 **Leave it you to use perfect punctuation while text -Riley**

 **While texting -Farkle**

 **I hate you -Riley**

 **Where are you? -Farkle**

 **At Lucas's tryouts -Riley**

 **Are you going to invite him to After Giving? -Farkle**

 **Are you serious -Riley**

 **Yeah he's become a good friend of us -Farkle**

 **Do you think my Dad would allow it? -Riley**

 **Maybe -Farkle**

 **I'll ask Get back to your movie -Riley**

 **Bye -Farkle**

Riley focused back on the tryouts. She was up real high and couldn't easily make out each individual player but she was trying to focus. She had gladly slipped on Lucas's jacket and was thinking about what Farkle said. Riley, Maya, Farkle, and recently Smackle, had a tradition on the day after Thanksgiving that they called After Giving. Basically they ate all the leftovers they could find and everyone passed out in a food coma. Seriously no one had ever been able to stay up past nine.

She was nervous though. Were they really that close? Definitely, but would he want to go? Riley had only known him for about two and a half months.

She was working on a bit of math homework when the world fell apart in her mind. _RED ALERT! RED ALERT! The Bitch Is Coming!_

How was it that Missy Bradford was almost everywhere? Before Riley could even answer that question she had slid next to RIley.

"Hey mute," she said friendly. "How eternal loneliness going for you?" Riley just turned away from her. _How eternal bitchiness going for you?_ "Hear to support your little crush?" _NO!_ "Me too. Except your crush is definitely one sided." _I don't even like Lucas in that way and he sure as hell does not like EITHER of us in that way._ " I totally think Lucas could get a really good place on the team. Maybe the quarterback." _Do you even know that position's job?_ "Well I gotta get going, cheerleading practice. Nice not talking to you mute."

With that she walked off and Riley was left hiding how that hurt hated how people thought it was good idea to call her a mute. She had to suffer being called that all through elementary school. _They don't even know half of it._

She saw the kids on the field having to do push ups and laps around the field. She couldn't tell where Lucas was though. She decided to text Lucas, even if he wasn't able to answer at the moment.

 **Every year Maya and Farkle come over to my house the day after Thanksgiving to eat a bunch of leftovers and watch movies. We call it After Giving. Wanna come? -Riley**

After sending the text Riley went back to looking at her math homework. _I haven't learned anything about taxes or insurance yet I have to know the Pythagorean Theorem!_ Riley had always hated math but at least her math teacher this year was nice. She once had a teacher who refused to accept that Riley would not talk and would constantly mock her. "If truth is beauty and beauty is truth than mathematics must be the most beautiful thing on the world," Mrs. Ezperanza would say. Continuing on with fractions and triangles and whatever the hell arithmetic sequence was, it began to get dark and even colder. She heard a sharp whistle pierce through the air and looked towards the field. Everyone on the field was packing up and getting changed, She began packing up her books and homework and noticed something. Bitchy Bradford was down on the field flirting with Lucas. _Whatever. His life, not mine._ But it was bothering her severely. So she walked down the bleachers, nearly slipping and falling at one point to see Bradford flirtatiously wave goodbye and walk off. _Brat._

"Hey you ready to go," Lucas asked. He had honestly felt a little guilty about having Riley sit up in the bleachers for such a long while. In reality he didn't know why he did it. She had just as busy of a life as he did. She started walking towards him. _Better not think about it too much._

"Come on let's go."

The duo began to walk out of the school stadium and around the block, passing the school on the way out. Lucas occasionally glanced over at Riley, who was silent as always. He remembered back when they played twenty questions over the phone. They hadn't talked nearly as much since then. She had asked him why he was so understanding of her. He didn't really know. The closest answer he could give was that his parents divorced when he was nine. And it was a messy one. For the next few weeks he was very quiet. But eventually he got over it and became used to the quiet that came with his father being out of the house for good. Maybe that's why he was so angered by his mom's new boyfriend Thomas. Sure Thomas was a really nice guy but it was… strange. He didn't like the thought of his mom dating. They moved in the end of May and Sarah met Thomas at her publishing office. They had been going out since August and a few times a month he had to hang out in the most awkward situations imaginable.

He looked over at Riley who was looking at her feet. "You okay?" She nodded. "Cool." Things were silent as they walked to the subway, with many people walking around them and lot's of bright lights from taxis flashing. While walking across the street some dumb taxi driver came out of nowhere and almost struck them. "AHHH!"

That was the closest thing Lucas had come across to hearing Riley talk. It was a quick high pitched sound but he thought he would never forget it. She had frozen up in shock. Eyes wide, body rigid, not moving. He looked at her. "Riley? Riley! You okay?" She slowly nodded her head. The taxi was honking and threatening to move forward. _Asshole!_ "Hey asshole," he shouted, hitting the hood of the car before quickly pulling Riley along. _What was that about?_

"Hey seriously though are you okay," he asked concerned. She nodded her head more confidently this time. As they found their way to the subway Lucas was asking himself about why she froze up. _She had screamed. That is the closest thing to talking to come out of the hell do I do?_

Riley was walking ahead of him, acting as if nothing had ever happened. Lucas followed in pursuit, quickly catching up to her. "Wait up," he shouted.

Making their ways down the steps, Lucas saw that Riley still looked a bit shaken up. He decided it was best to leave her be. The train ride was quiet, awkward you could say. Lucas walked Riley home. Before he could say goodbye though she walked up the steps of her building.

"Okay. Bye. See ya tomorrow," he said dejectedly. With that he turned around and walk back to his hopefully only two person house.

 _Bright lights. Loud screams. Tires screeches. The sound of impact! Showers upon showers of glass. Then darkness. At first she tried to block it out, focusing purely on the ringing in her ears. She then opened her eyes…_

"MOM!" _Oh my fucking god!_ She had… spoken. She opened her mouth and… and… sound came… out! _Is that really what my voice sounds like?_ She did it. After almost ten years of not speaking her mouth made two sounds tonight. _This doesn't change anything. Never. It doesn't change anything._

She needed air. It was far too stuffy in the room and she was sweating. She opened up her window and climbed out onto her fire escape. It was much colder out here. The air wasn't really that better either. She got off and decided to go get something to eat. She walked to the kitchen and sat down on one of the stools, pouring herself a bowl of cereal. She kept eating as quietly as she could but it was no use. Within moments her father was walking and taking a seat next to her.

"Midnight snack?" She nodded. _You shouldn't speak. Not safe._ "I heard you walking through the halls. Thought it was a herd of elephants." She smiled at that. They kept sitting in _normal_ silence until her father spoke. "Are you okay? Please be honest. You've just been… off these past few weeks. And I don't know what's the cause of it. I guess I could say it's always been hard communicating what in your thoughts though."

This was closest her father had ever coming to openly saying that Riley was silent. He had never really brought it up before. Just seemed to always skirt around it.

"I just wanna know if you're okay."

Riley thought about it for a minute. She just talked, even if was to herself, for the first time in nearly ten years. She was a little confused about Lucas and where they stood. To top it all off she was still a developing teen girl and almost got hit by a taxi twice in three months.

Looking at her father though, she didn't want him to worry. So she nodded.

"Alright. Good. It's nearly midnight. Back to bed as soon as snacks over."  
He stood up and went back to bed and Riley was left staring into her cereal, before going back to bed. This time on the window seat.

 **So I was going to have Thanksgiving and AfterGiving in this chapter but I just… couldn't. Sorry. Having just a bit of writers block. DO NOT WORRY. I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE. YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY.**

 **So next chapter will hopefully be up soon. I want to start maybe a new story full of one-shots. If you have any ideas please let me know! I don't know how soon that will be up though.**

 **Please review! Reviews are much nicer than the cold weather I get up here in Washington. I don't really mind the rain though...**


	10. Pamphlets, Parks, and After Giving

**OH MY GOD! THE STORY HIT OVER 50 REVIEWS! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! This is such an amazing accomplishment. I am so sorry that this update took a while. (Explanation at end)**

 **I have to thank my patient Lacy for motivating me. Even if she is probably too young to read this. AND this chapter is my longest one yet!**

 **Song for the chapter is …. Um…. I don't know. Chin Up by Amy Stroup. Then Greg Laswell and Sara Bareilles Come Back Down**

 **Love you Odessa and Elizaveta!**

* * *

Harper had asked Riley to come into her office during lunch and it stressed her out. It was the end of the quarter. Tomorrow was Thanksgiving. She had family coming over tonight and for the past two days everyone was taking their quarterly tests. The last thing she needed was to go home to a family full of watchful eyes and have the weight of failed tests on her back. Had she failed an English test? No she couldn't have. She never failed a test before. Besides her creative writing story was amazing. Was it possible to score too high? _Let's hope that the reason.._ Harper waved to indicate for Riley to sit across from her. Gingerly she sat down while Harper sat in her chair _Think about ThanksGiving_.

"Riley do you know why I called you here," Harper asked. Riley shook her head. "I was re-reading your Fahrenheit 451 last night. I was also reading your mid-term. It was executed very well." Riley looked up and smiled. _Thank you._ "I was just amased at how it was written. After all the idea of a bunch mentally ill children being thrown together is used often, your's was by far one of the best I ever read." _Oh. Wow!_

Harper pulled her chair closer to Riley and leaned a bit closer. "Riley have you ever thought of being a writer?" Riley shook her head. She had never considered it. In reality she hadn't considered her future. It would being difficult for a silent person to get a job. At times Riley thought about applying for a job and getting a doctor to say she could medically not speak. That was unlikely though. She had thought about possibly becoming a online business owner. But now that Harper mentioned it the job as a writer would be great idea.

"Of course you should try and have a day job but I think you could be really successful. And I would like to help you." _Shut Up!_

This was one of the greatest things Riley had ever heard. She had thought about college often but in more of a " _I wanna go but how?"_ way. After all she was the oldest of two children, living with a widowed parent, on a teacher's salary. She was currently filling out applications at Svorksi's as a cleaning lady (working at eleven dollars an hour if she got the job). But according to Farkle her hours would earn her only about twenty-thousand dollars before the time when she would typically go to college.. And that was only if the new owners could afford to pay her and if she turned up every day for at least three hours during the week and four hours on the weekends. Not likely. Besides she didn't want to clean up tables and wash dishes for the rest of her life. _Although being a maid could be a good job. Maybe working for a rich family..._

But if she could write something… She could get into a college or not go and write something amazing. Unlikely though. She should probably go to college.

"I have some pamphlets for New York University. They have one of the best creative writing curriculums in the country. They also have many other branches that I would recommend you major or minor in." Harper handed her different pamphlets, all emblazoned with the NYU logo. "Have a look. And include your father in that discussion. I have told him about a student in my class but I haven't exactly told him it's you."

Riley quickly took the pamphlets out of Harper's hand and briefly skimmed through them, excited. Each program was unique. There was one for journalism, another for blogging. One for novelists, and another for poets. Each one had pictures of students and some had pictures of New York University's expansive library.

"Do you have any plans for Thanksgiving," Harper asked. Riley nodded. _Small Thanksgiving, then After Giving._

"Will you write down a tradition you have for me? Right now?" She slid a paper and pen towards Riley, who gladly took it. "Don't tell me who's involved. Just write down the tradition." _Okay. Little weird._

 _Every year I have a tradition of eating all my family's leftovers with some friends._

 _We call it After Giving._

"That's sounds like great fun. Now I have a project for you. Are you okay with that?" Without thinking Riley nodded yes. "I would like you to write about your... After Giving. Tell me about every little detail and emotion that you can remember about it and hand that into me on Monday."

That scared Riley. Writing a whole paper about her emotions… in three days? Had Harper even understand how complicated Riley's emotions were? Obviously not. But maybe… maybe it was a test. And Harper was challenging her. And maybe if she passed Harper would read it and send it to a college. Or maybe… maybe Harper was just setting her up to fail. But that was unlikely. So she nodded. And left the classroom when given the permission to.

Lunch was only halfway over but she wasn't hungry. So Riley just decided to head to Gym early. No doubt the teacher would be startled and run off into his office to do God knows what. _What's wrong with him? Is he mentally unstable?_ Riley immediately chastised herself for laughing at that. After all she considered herself mentally unstable sometime's. _Fuck me. Turned a good day into a day full of episodes._ Tears were welling up in Riley's eyes. She looked up at the clock. Twenty minutes. _I've got time._ She ran into the nearest bathroom. Searching to make sure that no one was in this bathroom. Unlikely as this one was far from the lunchroom. When Riley was sure that no one was in the restroom she slammed her fist into the first into the first stall's door, slamming it open. Her hand hurt but she ignored repeated this motion to all of the other eight stalls until she reached the ending handicapped stall. She opened the door and locked it. She balled herself into the corner of the stall and slowly slid down into a sitting motion. Tears began to pour out of her eyes. With Riley crying always came in small single tears. Never streams, never sobs, just small single tears that dribbled down her face. Even when her mom died her sobs were more of screams and the tears came in singles.

Riley called these incidents her "episodes". They happened maybe once or twice a month. They hadn't happened at all this school year and it was something she was very proud of. Not even on her mother's anniversary. But today had ended that streak. _Why am I even crying? Why can't I cry normally?_ She couldn't just cry harder and get all those emotions out. She just had to let out those small tears and bottle up the emotions.

After sitting in an uncomfortable fetal position for a few minutes she pulled herself up and walked out of the stall, stopping at the large mirror that hung adjacent to the stalls. Grabbing a couple of paper towels she dabbed at her eyes until they were no longer red or wet.

"Pick yourself up."

* * *

"Do I need to worry about where you were during lunch," Maya asked. Riley quickly shook her head. "Good. We were all worried. Were you gone for a good reason?" Nod. "Will you text me later?" Nod. "Cool."

Since school was having an early release day their teacher was having them run laps in three different groups. _Again._ The whistle blew and Riley had to get off the bleachers and run laps.

She had a personal goal for herself. She wanted to stay near the front, with the more athletic kids. She hadn't taken up a physical activity since she was nine, so keeping up with those kids was pretty hard. _There practically sprinting!_ Her lungs were burning but she kept running, faster, faster. At times she almost fell down but was able to pick herself before she hit the ground. Faster, faster, faster.

She didn't notice when it was time for the third group to run. No one decided to point it out.

It wasn't until she almost got trampled on that Riley came out of her own bubble. Riley was so far stuck in her own mindset, wanting to get her mind off the whole bathroom situation. She was too distracted and when a kid lightly bumped into her, her legs collapsed under her. But when Riley fell she didn't get up at first. She couldn't see for a minute. Everything was black until she opened up her eyes. Instead of getting up she stayed laying down, taking in huge amounts of air for her burning lungs.

"Matthews! You alright," the assistant coach yelled.

"Riley!" She turned her head to see Maya and Lucas running towards her. The two of them bent down to her, with Lucas carrying a bottle of water.

"Riley! Are you okay," Lucas asked frantically handing her the water. She grabbed the bottle with a vice and took multiple large sips, before slowly lifting her head up. Her head was spinning and she wasn't able to easily focus. She shot Maya a _Tell me what happened_ look.

"Riley you just collapsed. You fainted! Shit girl why'd you have to scare me," Maya yelled.

"Hey! No loud noises! Friar! Hart! Get her to the nurse," the coach shouted.

The two picked her up by her arms. Riley instantly leaned to her right, almost hitting Lucas's bent down head. She saw that some of the other kids were whispering. Because that's what's she needed. She just had to have others talking about her behind her back.

On the walk from the gym to Nurse Powell's office Riley knew that the two had the same thought; What the hell just happened?

She was honestly asking herself that question too. She was just far too focused on… what was she focused on? Nothing. Well not nothing. It had to be something. She was running away from… the whatever. And the whatever had to have been stressing her out. And the whatever caused her to run way too fast. And the whatever caused her to faint. And collapse. And shy away from everyone.

So what the fuck was the whatever?!

But with her head thumping she couldn't focused and decided to rest her head on Lucas's shoulder.

* * *

"Sweetie it looks like you got a case of postural hypertension," Nurse Powell said. Well that wasn't helpful at all. Riley couldn't focus and they weren't studying physical health in science. Or physical science aka gym. Where it happened.

"That's when you slow down your muscles and heart too fast. And sometimes, like in your case, it can lead to fainting." She chuckled at that. Riley on the other was stuck laying down on the little "hospital bed" that the nurse's office held. At least Nurse Powell didn't mock her like her assistant did.

"Since you're gonna need to rest and rehydrate I'll call Katie." Sadly had a habit of injuring herself or coming to school sick, and Powell had seen Katie more times for her than Maya. "You rest up for now." Ever the polite woman she pulled the curtain hanging from the ceiling for Riley, encasing her in semi-darkness. She knew that Katie wouldn't be able to show up in at least twenty minutes. And that was if she could get a taxi in the traffic that came with Thanksgiving.

The bell for dismissal went off. If she had her own choice she would be in science with Farkle and Lucas as her lab partners. Even if the exact science they were studying didn't excite as much as the psychology unit that was promised after winter break she loved science class. Today they were going to be able to make a model of the brain. Out of macaroni no less!

She heard the pitter patter of feet and the shouts of kids calling to their friends. Then again the tardy bell. She thought she heard Missy's voice but decided to ignore it.

"Nothing will rain on my parade today," she muttered so soft she herself could barely hear it.

* * *

Considering the fact that half of New Yorkers did not own a car (Smackle told her that) Katie and her were taking a taxi to her house where she was to rest for the next few hours. And true to Powell's words Katie showed up in twenty minutes. She counted. People do get bored after all.

Being silent is basically putting yourself in the most unusual position with people. They all assume you are instantly trustworthy. So they tell you everything. And sure this meant a lot to Riley but it was also weird. She once went to a party in eighth grade and a girl in the corner that she never knew spilled everything about her terrible home life. She never saw that girl again.

But now Katie was just rambling on about work and herself and Maya and Shawn and Maya's father and how Maya's father invited her up for Thanksgiving but how she and Maya were going to come to her house…

Needless to say Katie needed a person to not respond to her rambles for a bit.

"It's just... I don't know," Katie admitted. "I just wish that maybe for once Maya and I could have a nice normal Thanksgiving. Guess some wishes don't come true Riley." Giggles followed.

Riley was confused by the statement. Sure it sounded naive but wishes did come true. Just not right away. That's what Disney taught her. Unhappy endings were for people who liked Oedipus and Shakespeare.

"But enough about me. What about you? How are you?" It always fascinated RIley how Katie talked to her as if she expected an answer. "How is everything at school? I'm told you and Maya have a new friend Lucas. I assume he must be nice. He always sounded like such a gentleman. Maya told me you like him. But then again that's Maya." Yes that sounded exactly like Maya. As much as Maya liked to say she didn't manipulate people she was quite good at it. She was left hiding the little bit of her that was impressed with Maya's findings and shook her head, placing it all off as a myth.

"Well I'll make my decision when I see it."

With her head still slightly thumping she rested her head on the window, watching the hundreds perhaps thousands of people pass her by.

* * *

Well rested and hydrated Riley greeted her family with open arms. At least three of them were here. Her grandparents Amy and Alan were here along with Uncle Josh. Oh how happy Maya would be tomorrow.

"Corey you have to have us stop driving out from Philadelphia," her grandfather told her father sternly.  
"Do you honestly expect me to be able to get two crazy children and whatever friends sneak along to Philadelphia?"

She ignored the two of them and hugged her grandmother. Her Uncle Eric was supposed to arrive tomorrow morning. That is at least if the senate gave him time off. God, went from mayor of stupid town (sorry St. Upid Town) to a New York Senator. Crazy. And Shawn was going to come tomorrow as well. As for her Aunt, she said she was busy. Her mother parents were a whole other story. She knew the story of her grandparent's... unhappy marriage. And with… the marriage didn't go well. While they were still legally married the two lived in different houses. And also refused to see their own grandchildren.

The rest of the night was spent playing games that she wasn't interested in and drinking non-alcoholic apple cider (she learned her lesson. Not that her grandparents needed to know that). Eventually Maya and Katie came over to talk so while all the adults sat drinking wine and playing a strange game of pictionary, the underage sat in Riley's room talking. Well, she listened. Partially. She was texting Lucas.

 **So I come over when? -Lucas**

 **Noon. -Riley**

 **Should I bring some leftover's? -Lucas**

 **You don't have to -Riley**

 **Ma probably would not let me leave the house without some -Lucas**

 **Is it just you and your mom? -Riley**

 **And Thomas. -Lucas**

She knew she accidentally pushed a button.

 **I'm sure that if your loves him he is a good guy. -Riley**

 **When has her taste in guys ever been good?! -Lucas**

What the hell did that mean? Could he possibly be talking about his father? Like she with her mother, Lucas kept his father a secret. During the visits and dinners at his house his father was never brought up. There were no photos of any older men except for one who was obviously his grandfather. She didn't even know his name.

So she did what she always did when she was having an emotional problem. Distact.

 **Have you heard about football positions? -Riley**

 **Yeah! Wide receiver! -Lucas**

 **That's Great! One sec and we can talk -Riley**

A quick google search later she returned to the conversation.

 **That's amazing! The coach must have thought you were really fast! -Riley**

 **Yeah. Hey my mom's calling me I gotta go. -Lucas**

 **See you Friday. -Riley**

 **Wouldn't miss it for the world. -Lucas**

She set down her phone and asked herself a question. What? Was he really that excited?

To stop from torturing herself she focused on the conversation at hand. Auggie, Maya, and Josh were all talking about some tv show that she never got into.

"I mean he finally admitted he has feelings for her! And the speech about the bloody cosmos! I actually squealed," Maya added.

Riley took note that Josh was sitting unusually close to Maya. Had something happened at that Halloween party? She would ask later on text.

"So Riley who ya texting," Auggie asked.

"Probably Lucas," Maya teased.

"Which one is Lucas again," Josh asked.

"New student from Texas."  
"Oh Ranger Rick!"

Hmm. Now that obviously meant there was some sort of communication between the two on a regular basis. After all no one but Maya called Lucas that. If there was some sort of secret relationship there were two things. One: That's great! The fact that Maya let someone in was a great thing. Two: He was her Uncle! If they got married she would be her Aunt! Not like she could stop her though. Their relationship would be perfectly legal.

Then again there might not be any relationship there. But her little intuition was screaming it. And her intuition was never wrong.

* * *

Thanksgiving was full of crazy things. For one Shawn came into the house before anyone woke up, terrifying everyone but her father, who saw the opportunity to act like a kid on Christmas morning. (Ergo: her on Christmas). Then Eric came flanked by the press who refused to leave until her grandfather threatened to call the cops. And the yams burned, setting the fire alarm off.

For a whole hour.

And prompted the neighbors to call the fire department

But when everyone was seated at the crowded table, dressed in nice clothes (except Auggie who refused) all was well. It was time for her favorite part of the evening. A quick grace then giving thanks.

"I'm thankful for my surrogate family. Despite the… tricky spots I've put you all in I'm thankful for all the people in my life. Even those who aren't my family," Shawn announced. Hmm.

"I'm thankful for my beautiful grandchildren. And the hope that I will have no more within the next few years. From certain people," her grandfather said shooting a look at Josh. Interesting.

"For my amazing grandkids and children who make me proud every day," her grandmother spoke. Sweet.

"Everything I have. All my friends. And the fact that dad has not grounded me yet," Josh laughed. What?

"My games and my Ava," Auggie settled on. Well… it started more laughs than she would have expected.

"The citizens of New York." That's it Uncle Eric?

"My children. Who have both grown so much. Taught me more than I like to admit. Thank you," her father said. How sweet!

She didn't speak. They continued onto dinner. She ate so much food. And listened to funny conversations that made her smile.

But for the first time while lying in bed that night, she wished she could have said what she was thankful for.

* * *

Lucas had no idea what to expect the day after Thanksgiving.

He had said some things last night to Thomas that he could never take back. He was just so annoyed at the "Mr. Perfect" persona. Not that his mother didn't deserve perfect but he couldn't trust perfect. Not after his father. Not with the perfect dark brown hair, and the nice income, and the hipster sweaters. He couldn't handle perfect from anyone. Well… except from the one person he thought was perfect.

So he left the house early this morning, choosing to take some leftovers with him. Red potatoes in a casserole dish that would have to be heated up for them to be didn't plan to come back before noon. So he took the bus and decided to go where ever it took him.

It took him to Central Park.

He had never been there before. It was huge! He saw some spectators from… he assumed yesterday's huge parade. He walked through grass and placed himself onto a bench giving him a good view of the long line waiting to skate on the ice. The park itself was busy, with families letting their children running around. Happy couples walking hand in hand. It was a nice sight. Busy but not chaotic. Calm but not boring. It felt right. Until his phone rang.

"Lucas Friar! Where are you," his mother's voice rang.

"In Central Park," he answered truthfully.

"When will you be back?"

"I was gonna stay out 'till I left Riley's."  
"You and I will be having a serious talk about last night."

"Okay. Love ya ma'."  
"I love you too." Her voice was softer as she hung up. He knew he had really hurt her. As for Thomas… As much as he wanted to stay angry he knew he was acting terrible to the guy. The guy who obviously loved his mother.

Dammit he was losing his toughness.

He spent the rest of the morning in the park, walking around and familiarising himself with the place. He bought a hotdog lunch from a vendor. He knew that even though he was carrying a casserole dish along with him it wasn't the weirdest thing that he would have at least seen. The vendor told him a story about how a drunk man came up to his cart and removed all his clothes. Yikes.

When his watch told him it was half past eleven he took his little yellow casserole dish and took the next bus to Riley's street. He readied himself at the front door and knocked.

* * *

When the first knock came she raced and found Farkle and Smackle. Then Maya. But even though she loved them she was most excited for Lucas to join this tradition. Learn about the true weirdo she was. Although the house was crowded, all the kids would literally barricade themselves in Riley's room. Feasting and games were always part of the equation. And surprising the last arriving guest. With nerf guns. And sometimes a baseball bat. So when the knock came she had everyone ready. Her family was sitting on the sofas glancing every once in awhile at the group. Even Josh joined in on the fun. Between him and Auggie alone there were five nerf guns. Maya carried a water squirter while Farkle and Smackle both carried foam bats.

And they waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Until at last…

 _Knock! Knock! Knock!_

Pressing a finger to her lips Riley looked into the peephole. When she saw who it was she cracked open the door slowly before throwing it open.

"Ranger Rick," everyone but Riley shouted before pelting him with everything they had in their arsonal. Lucas was visibly surprised and set some sort of dish down on the table as he ran out the apartment. Riley grabbed one of the water guns before joining in the chase. They chased him down the stairs and onto the sidewalk before they ran out of nerf darts. Farkle and Smackle were hitting him as hard as they could (which was thankfully not that hard) while she and Maya were soaking him with the water guns. She was laughing. Actually laughing. She hadn't laughed in ages. Even though she knew she would have to stop she didn't want to. Passersby stared at them as they continued while Lucas doing his best to fend off the attacks. When the water guns were finally emptied Riley held her hand and signaled _one, two, three._

"Happy After Giving," everyone else shouted.

"Jesus! Was that necessary? I've got nothing to change into," he shouted although it was obvious to anyone that he wasn't angry.

"Don't worry man I've got some things you can change into," Josh piped. "Joshua Mathews. Riley's uncle." He held his hand out to Lucas who shook it with a confused face. "Mid-life crisis baby."

"Oh, well I'm Lucas Friar."

"Yeah, Ranger Rick. I've heard about you."

"You don't happen to have an extra shirt that I could borrow do ya?"

"Yeah just hope you don't mind purple."

"Cool."

"Ugh, men," Maya said exasperated "So easy to manipulate."

"What?"

"Never mind Josh. Let's go up! I'm hungry!"

The group of them walked back up the stairs of the building into a home of laughing adults. When Lucas changed into Josh's purple t-shirt he talked amongst her relatives. Something she tried to stay of the room or earshot of. She knew it was going to be awkward.

At around two leftovers were broken out and so were the videogames. The adults all decided to "Go out for some peace and quiet" which was code for going down the hall and talking to the older couple. And wine. There was always wine. Once when she was younger she almost took a sip thinking it was cranberry juice. They all ate in laughter filled voices, making jokes and playing every game in Auggies collection. Let's just say that there were a lot.

Isadora was the first to yawn at six. They all had a game where whoever was the first to yawn had to give everyone else a dollar. Riley couldn't remember a year Smackle hadn't been the first to yawn. Taking her dollar in her hand she sat back on the couch, controller in hand trying to beat Josh at MarioKart. When she aimed the blue shell at him she knew she had won. Her victory was welcomed by everyone but Josh and Auggie, who protested that it was cheating.

They then soon started a game of Monopoly, something that Farkle instantly won. In less than an hour. "No fair your dad's a rich businessman! He must have given you some pointers," Josh shouted.

* * *

"Okay Auggie where do you think your sister went," Lucas asked. He, Josh, and Auggie were all hidden in Auggie's bedroom. They were all carrying nerf blasters and Auggie had paint all over his face (He didn't understand that). The girl's and Farkle were hiding somewhere in the building and they had to find them. So far they had checked all the bedrooms and the sidewalk down below. Now all that was left was…

"The roof! It's her 'sanctuary' as she likes to call it," Auggie shouted.

"Okay so if I know Riley and I do she would have them split up and hiding somewhere. So Auggie and I will take the stairs up and Lucas will take the fire escape. Good," Josh ordered. The three split up and Lucas ran to Riley's room. Since he was in there on Halloween (A night he tried to forget) he knew she had the fire escape in her room. Since he was only in her room for a few minutes he didn't get a good look at it. It was very unique and very… her. THe walls were painted blue and her blankets were red. Pictures of her and Maya were on the walls along with pictures of Smackle and Farkle. She also had pictures of nature and big cities like San Francisco or Paris. On her bedside table was a picture of what he thought was her family. Her dad looked the same, if a little more energetic and less tired. A little Riley sat on his lap, hair braided with little daisies, front teeth missing. She was holding a baby probably a couple months old in her arms. Must be Auggie. A woman who had very similar hair to Riley had her arms wrapped around Mr. Matthews. Must be her mother. With the exception of twenty questions Lucas avoided asking about her mother. He knew that she passed away when Riley was young but she never went farther than that. But then again he never brought up his dad and their issues so it had to be fair.

There were also some interesting pamphlets about NYU on her bedside table. He didn't look for long though. He opened up her window and stepped on to the balcony. She was growing different flowers. The rosebush was the only one he could identify.

He kept running up the stairs until he reached the top. When he reached the top he ducked down enough so that only his eyes peaked over the top of the ledge. He saw Farkle and Maya hiding behind some plant while Riley and Smackle were hiding on top of the door frame's roof. How on earth did they get up there? Especially Riley in her long blue quickly heard the door slam open and Josh and Auggie came running up the stairs. He climb up the ledge and joined them, quickly starting to shoot at Riley and Smackle, who the latter started screaming. The other two were shooting at Maya and Farkle.

"Payback for earlier," he shouted.

"This can't be logical payback," Smackle answered. "You have to attack Josh and Auggie as well."

"In that case…" He started shooting at Josh and Auggie as well.

* * *

The night ended with goodbyes and hugs. Lucas had long changed back into his blue hoodie claiming that purple was much more Josh's color. Her family was leaving as well.

"Riley dear please come visit during spring break," her grandmother asked. She nodded at that. Smackle and Farkle left soon after her grandparents and Josh. Then Eric left claiming that he had to visit stupid town. Soon Shawn left as well despite the protests of her father. Seeing the glares of her father Riley knew she had to get Lucas out, even if she didn't really want him to go. No! No he could leave whenever he wanted. She was not in control of him.

"I um… I better get going. I kinda got in a fight with my mom's new boyfriend. Damage control." He gathered his casserole dish. "Thank you. For having me. I had a lot of fun." RIsking his reputation with her father she pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her. Her heart was beating so hard that he could probably hear it. She quickly pulled away when that thought entered her mind.

"Well again thanks."

When he left the house Maya announced she was going to leave as well. While her dad and brother settled in for a movie she secluded herself to her bedroom.

"Time to start this essay," she whispered.

* * *

 _I got a B+!_ She had never gotten a B+ before. _More details_ the top of her paper read. Harper dropped off her paper on Tuesday morning during her math class. It bothered her so much.

B+. Ha! Harper had also written her next topic on the top of the paper. Se however refused to read until her anger calmed down. So in science when her teacher was going on about the thalamus she glanced at it.

 _Write about popular tourist destination in New York and what is special about it. Make sure the place reflects something about you._

What would she do? She could write about Central Park. Or Lincoln Center. Something. It distracted her until History when her father announced that they had a new student.

"Isaiah Babineaux," he announced. "From Texas."

"Call me Zay," the tallish boy told the class. "Lucas!"

What? How did he know Lucas?

"What are you doing here Zay?"

"Maybe I just wanted to see my best friend."

Riley turned to look at Lucas. She was extremely confused.

"How's adjustment," Zay asked. "No disciplinary actions? Threats of expulsion?"

No way! There was absolutely no way that Lucas Friar Ranger Rick Huckleberry Moral Compass could have ever been expelled from his old school in Texas.

"Lucas," she mouthed almost making a sound. She must not know him at all.

* * *

 **Well I am so sorry how long this took**

 **EXPLANATION So my babushka (grandmother) sister passed away so I had to fly back to New York for the funeral. My family is quite poor (yeah I'm the successful scholarship kid) so they don't have any good access to internet (cause docs won't run without internet). So I was there for a week. Then I fly back to realise my asshole boyfriend Vitali has been cheating on me so I left him. We live in a one room apartment (Seattle. LOWER YOUR PROPERTY RATES) so for the first night I stay at my friends Odessa and Elizaveta house. So I call the police because he refuses to leave. When he finally does I'm driving back and get hit by a CAR. Now I'm in a wheelchair for three months and have a date with a soldier who has a prosthetic leg on Friday.**

 **MY PAST FEW WEEKS HAVE BEEN INSANE.**

 **THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT!  
YOU ARE ALL AMAZING!  
PLEASE REVIEW! THE REVIEWS ARE LOVE!**


	11. Poll

**SO SORRY THAT THIS IS NOT A NEW CHAPTER BUT PLEASE READ!**

 **Like I said sorry that this is not a chapter. BUT! I am going to start writing a new story and I need your opinion. I will list the sums here and you can either P.M, review or go vote on my poll (Poll is preferable.) Don't worry I'll still write on this story. The new story won't be up for at least a month but I want to write some of it before hand.**

 **ALL THE STORIES WILL BE RUCAS.**

 **VOTING WILL END ON THE 21st OF FEBRUARY!**

 **Insert Movie Title Here** **\- Divorced mother Riley Matthews never expected to meet widowed dad Lucas Friar. In a vet office no less. But she did. I guess you can insert the movie title here.**

 **Bipolar Problems and Waves of Anger** **\- Twenty-one year old Lucas Friar hated the hospital. He didn't need help. But a pretty brunette might just help him. Even if he didn't ask for help.**

 **The Rest Is History. Messy History** **\- Two young orphaned adults find each other on the edge of the Golden Gate Bridge. Freeing themselves from responsibility they decide run away together. Now all the have to do is understand each other's messy history. Easy right?**

 **THANKS GUYS! LOVE THE HELP!**


	12. A Green Dress and A Game Changing Night

**The Date went really well!**

 **Strong language in this chapter.**

 **SONG FOR THE LOVE IS BEGINNING BY IMAGINARY FUTURE YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS SONG! DO IT!**

* * *

 **December, 15.**

Isaiah Babineaux could change people faster than they could change their clothes.

And Riley hated that.

She hated the fact that everyone was quieter. That all her friends were distant. They weren't unified. But in true Riley fashion she couldn't be mad at Zay. He was adjusting just like Lucas. So of course she took him in. Once a friend always a friend. But she still hated the change.

But here she was, all her friends and him, sitting around a table at winter formal. Maya on her phone texting someone, Farkle and Isadora quietly talking about thermonuclear energy. Lucas was sitting next to her, eyes on the large crowd congregated on the dance floor. Zay on the other hand was seemingly enjoying himself, bobbing his head to the music, looking at … Sarah. Hmm….

She had to say she herself was trying to avoid running on to the dance floor. Knowing her she would trip and rip her white dress. So instead she ate her pretty cupcake (supplied by Svorski's). Pretty white and blue swirls with golden pearls on top. Vanilla. Delicious. Wintery themed. _I really should be working on that paper from Harper. When a crack forms in the ground it is because someone's heart has been broken. Tell the story of the Grand Canyon._ Jesus Christ, Harper had imagination.

After a while her eyes wandered around the table, occasionally eyeing someone else's cupcake. Everyone was dressed up nice. She and Maya convinced Smackle to wear a simple yellow dress (It was getting her to come that was the hard part.) Maya however was in a gorgeous black dress that Shawn had bought for her as an early Christmas gift. For the first time in years he wouldn't be attending anyone's Christmas. And it was easy to that was Maya was bummed out by that. The boys were dressed nicely as well. Farkle went a bit overboard and was wearing a full on tuxedo while Lucas looked _very_ handsome in a navy blue suit. Zay had a similar suit but just skipped on the jacket.

The bass of the music was loud but not to the point where your head hurt. Teens were all on the dancefloor in nice three piece suits and elegant dresses. She saw her fellow classmates all enjoying themselves. Sarah was laughing at Darby who was dancing with Yogi in the most intentionally awkward way imaginable. Swinging him around like a child had to be weird but the masses seemed to love it. The gym was decorated with a constant blue and gold theme going on with white accents. The lights were dimmed and the swirled balloons were being tossed throughout the crowd.

While at introvert at heart Riley loved a good party (as exemplified during Halloween). It was nice to have a party going on without her father chasing off every boy in a five foot radius even if they weren't there to interact with her. Auggie was hosting a sleepover with Dewie, sorry Doy, and Ava tonight. And knowing that when the three were put together Auggie would somehow either end up in another apartment or covered in glitter. And that judgment was made only on past experiences. So of course her father wasn't here.

She sat in her chair, foot bobbing up and down to the music. She was as silent as she could have been. She wanted to shout. To sing as loud as she could but she wouldn't. She wasn't ready for that. So instead she kept her eyes on Lucas and stayed quiet.

The awkwardness had reached it's peak when the following happened:

"I'm dating Josh," Maya shouted nervously.

It took all her strength to not fly into another episode.

* * *

Luas could name on his one hand how many times someone had shocked him. And that moment on Halloween was the only positive one. The table was in pure silence, everyone staring at Maya, Riley looking betrayed, Farkle looking shocked and poor Zay looked confused. So it was up to him.

"How long," he asked. When she looked away he asked her again. "Maya you brought this up so now you have to answer."

"The night of After Giving."

"Um.. Zay would you like to dance?" Everyone's head zipped back to look at the new voice. It was Sarah, dressed in a nice salmon pink dress with her hair pulled back. She had a worried look on her face, constantly glancing at the group dancing.

"Yes please." Zay quickly got up and followed her onto the dance, copying Sarah's body language and glancing at the table. The two soon however relaxed and began to dance like the group.

"It looks like Zay found a girlfriend," Maya joked obviously trying to deflect the attention of the group. _Let's tell them about Vanessa later._

"This isn't about him Maya. This is about you going out with Josh." Through late night texts with Riley he knew Maya had a crush on Josh before he even met him. But he thought this was a schoolgirl crush that would go away. Apparently he wasn't the only one worrying about this. _Dammit! Focus!_

"Do his parents know? Or Mr. Matthews?"

"No. You actually think I would tell Cory?

"What about Riley," Smackle asked. "Just look at her reddening cheeks. She is obviously angry."

"Thank you Smackle."

"You're very welcome Lucas."

The table shook as Riley beat it with her fist before running off. He could see there was tears running down her face. White dress swirling behind her as she ran. People stared as she ran out. In her desperate attempt to not look at anyone she bumped into multiple people.

"Riley! Riley," he called.

"Let her go cool down," Maya ordered.

"This is all your fault," he shouted.

"My fault," Maya screamed.

"Isadora would you like to calculate the volume of all the punch cups," Farkle asked.

"God yes," she replied before she ran as quickly as she could in heels with Farkle quickly following behind.

"Yes this is your fault! You hid this from her!"

"I acknowledge that but you can't get on my case for hiding stuff when the past month has been nothing but awkward between you and Riley. Oh and why is that? Maybe because you hid stuff too!"

"I have my reasons!"

"Yeah 'cause you're not dating her uncle!"

"It doesn't matter! Riley's a great girl! Why would you try to hide something like that!"

Occasional glances were being thrown at the two. He could see that Zay and Sarah were watching the two cautiously, gliding ever so closer to hear. Then _the look_ came. Maya's _Oh God I just realised something look_. The last time the look showed up was when Zay arrived.

"Come with me," she ordered and grabbed his collar, pulling him out of the gym and into the nearby hallway. There were some people in it; boys waiting for dates that would never come, girls who had their hearts broken, couples who were getting _way_ too personal for a hallway. He quickly scanned the populous. No Riley. So where was she?

Maya pulled him close, a bit too close if he had to choose. Her hair was pulled into some sort of half bun and she wore minimal make-up but she looked really pretty. Combine that with feistiness, no wonder she and Josh were together. They were perfect.

"You."

"Me."

"You care about Riley?"

"Of course I do."

"You like her?"

"She's a great person."

"You _like like_ her?"

That question immediately took him off guard.

"Why the fuck would you ask that."

"She texted me about last night."

"Nothing happened last night."

"Riley is also one of the most convincing liars I've ever met. She may not tell me everything but the two of you woke up this morning not only stunning but _holding hands_!"

"I relapsed."

"Into what? Drugs," she joked.

"No. Anger. My dad is coming to town."

"So you visited her?"

"Yes."

"So then tell me what happened," she demanded. She pulled him onto the floor as she slid down and sat down next to him slipping of her heels in the process.

 _Well he was fucked. Fucking fathers and fucking mistresses and moms who agree with things and fucking boyfriends who decide to stay for dinner. And terrible agreements and messy divorces and terrible futures. And horrible druggies who beat up a kid on the street._

 _His father was coming to town. And naturally he ran. He was a coward because he ran. But he couldn't go back. Who knows? Maybe he won't even be at dinner tomorrow night. Maybe he'll skip and hide out in the park and for once his mother will understand. His mother… she couldn't be there with only Thomas and the other woman and... So he would go. And he would man up because his mother needed him. But for now he needed to walk. Just walk. Just a short subway ride. Then he would go home._

 _He didn't really pay attention to the fact that he was in the same neighborhood as Riley. It only came to him when he passed her apartment. Her bedroom light was still on._

"So you climbed up the ladder and surprised her with your bloody nose," Maya asked.

"Yes."

"And she fixed up and you stayed the night?"

"Yes." It wasn't a lie… it just wasn't the full truth.

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

"Nothing else?"

"Nope."

The two sat on the ground for a few minutes before Maya spoke up.

"I really fucked up, haven't I?"

"We both have."

"I think the problem that we all have… is that everything just changed when you and Zay showed up," she said. He didn't feel the need to respond. "Will you go find her for me?"

"You'll talk to her right?"

"Text me when you find her."

The two stood up and Maya put her heels back on, "I gotta go make a few calls," she laughed waving her phone.

* * *

He found her outside.

She couldn't stand being in the hallway so she ran out the building and sat on the steps.

Bad decision.

It was snowing, the small flakes catching on her hair. She made the right choice to bring her black wrap.

Just how could Maya do this to her? Her uncle! She rarely hid anything from Maya. Few things were kept in secret. She knew about her father Kermit, her favorite tv shows, every single nickname that she had for Lucas. Even her scary ballerina dreams. How she had a crush on Josh since she was twelve. Her biggest flaw was "broken". Her love of art. She claims to not worry over things that she has no control of but earlier at the table she looked scared.

"Dear God I've messed up," she whispered. She quickly pulled out her phone and opened up messages to text her. But what to say?

 **Why? -Riley**

 **Things happen -Maya**

 **But you didn't tell me. -RIley**

 **And I regret it every day -Maya**

 **Promise not to scare me again? -Riley**

 **Not intentionally. -Maya**

 **Good. So we good? -Riley**

 **Of course. No more secrets! -Maya**

 **Sure thing Peaches. -Riley**

 **Where are you? -Maya**

 **Outside. -Riley**

 **I sent Lucas after you. -Maya**

 **Okay. Can we dance later? -Riley**

 **Riley Matthews wants to dance? -Maya**

 **Kinda…. -Riley**

 **Finally! We will dance with our arms flailing around us! -May**

 **NO! -Riley**

 **Just kidding dear. -Maya**

 **I just need a bit of air. Be inside in about a minute. -Riley**

She put her phone back in her bag and stood up off the bench.

 _Of course. No more secrets!_

How would she explain her… speaking complications. It was _her_ secret. She didn't talk. That's what people expected. Silent RIley. The girl with a big heart and no voice. Hush Hush. Whisper Ghost. Hush Puppy. Mute.

Missy could be very creative in name calling.

It could never change. It would never change. She couldn't change. So why try? Why want to so badly?  
"Hey! Finally found you," Lucas called. She quickly turned to look at the boy. He looked very nice in his dark suit. He was beaming, so happy to see her. Internal struggle would have to wait. _Bahhh!_

"I've been looking all over for you." She quickly wiped at her face, trying to hide any remaining tears from earlier. "Hey… you okay?" She desperately wanted to crumble up, shout that she wasn't, cry as hard as she could. Just run off and have no one come after her for a few days so she could recharge. Maybe buy a plane ticket to France and leave and when someone tracked her down she surprise them by speaking fluent French and being a hippie. _NO!_

. But alas she still nodded her head. She could see he was nervous. She couldn't blame him, last night was even more awkward than when she drunk kissed his cheek. She was embarrassed just by the thought of it. But last night…. That was something else. It was… well...like a fleece blanket. Amazing at first, but after a while it became uncomfortable. _Was that really the only analogy I could make?_

"You wanna go back in?"

She took in a deep breath before she grabbed her little purse and walked through the door, Lucas following in pursuit. As she walked through the hallways she tried her hardest to hold her head high, for she know some of the people who were still in the hallway saw her run out. She could hear the thumping of the music coming from the gym. Before she reached the door though she stopped and leaned against the wall. She had to take multiple deep breaths. _Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, Breathe in, Breathe in. Keep breathing in. NOW EXHALE!_

"Let's go in. And then we can laugh at Farkle's…. dancing." She giggled at that quietly.

 _Let's get this over with._

* * *

Lucas was surprised to find Riley outside of all places. Maybe the library or her father's classroom. Maybe even the roof. But outside was not _Riley_. So of course that was the last place he looked. Well besides the roof of course.

But outside was a Riley he had never seen before. A Riley who was scared One who was nervous. Broken. And for the first time not reserved. He could read her then like an open could see every emotion she hid every day. She was scared, and fearful, and angry. Uncomfortable. Alone. But as hard as he tried he could see none of her positives. The ones Riley was known for. So he did his best. Which probably still wasn't good enough.

He basically asked her if she was okay and nothing else. Then he watched walk with her head high back into the gym. As her heels clicked against the gym floor towards Maya he looked around for Zay. He saw him sitting back down at the table, cuffs unbuttoned and an untied tie hanging around his neck. He was sipping the party punch (something that to him tasted like how fruit soap would taste like).

"Hey," Zay called as he saw him. He waved Lucas over who sat down next to him.

"Found her."

"Is this normal?"

"Not really."

Lucas looked away from Zay and saw that Riley had joined Maya, Farkle, and Smackle on the dance floor. Riley was dancing calmly with the tree but she was staring directly at him. That was until Maya caught her attention. He hadn't noticed how pretty Riley looked. Her dress was a beautiful mint green that reached her knees and twirled around her freely. Her hair was curled tightly with part of it pulled back in a messy bun

"Hey doe eyes! how was your talk with Maya?" His head zipped over to Zay who was smirking at him.

"I guess you could say it was okay. We talked about her relationship. Speaking of which does Sarah know about Vanessa?"

"Yeah. Um...she took it well. I think she's dancing with another guy but she seemed to take it very well. I don't need any babes crying over me." Lucas rolled his eyes at that.

"Whatever you idiot brain wants you to think."

"So…. What about Riley?"

What could he say?

"She's okay." Again, not a lie, just not the whole truth. She wasn't okay no matter how long or how hard she tried to hide it. And he hated to see her like that.

"You should go dance with her."

"What about you?"

"I'll join in a bit. Gonna text V."

Lucas stood up from the table and straightened his tie. He swallowed deeply before walking out into the crowd in search for Riley. He found her jumping around in the middle with Maya, Smackle, and Farkle.

"Lucas," Farkle shouted. "Where have you been?"

"Talking to Zay. He'll be here soon."

"Start dancing handsome," Isadora yelled.

"Uhm...okay."

He did start bouncing around. He never was good at dancing, but who was? Maya was swinging her arms around while Farkle was trying to convince Smackle to dance with him (And might have been succeeding. The only word he heard was "humbley").

* * *

Riley was never that good of a dancer. Despite the love that she had for ballet at a young age, she learned early on that she would rather be in the audience. She loved appreciation but could never stand being the center of attention. Especially after the accident. _No no no don't go there._

So instead she jumped up and down. Probably not the most normal thing to do but she was asked by Maya and she couldn't say no. The two of them made up with hugs. Maya promised no more secrets. Josh would tell his parents and her father. But something felt wrong to her. Riley was still hiding secrets… and feelings. So she did what she did best: hide.

Not literally. If it was literal she would already be out of the building. Still it was a nice feeling in the crowd. No one was forcing her to conform. She could go crazy if she wanted.

"Mi'lady! May I have this dance?" Lucas was bending over with his hand extending out. Head up with a goofy smile on his face. _Well if he was going to extend the olive branch I might as well accept._ She bent down and grabbed his hand before twirling around. There was really no need to dance together. The music was still fast and no one else (besides Farkle an Smackle) were doing it. However she knew what this was. It was an apology of some sorts. A "Sorry for making things weird by sleeping in your bed and then inviting you to a stressful family dinner" kind of apology. She accepted it.

"So about last night…" he began. She cut him off by putting a finger to his lips and smiled.

"Are we okay?" Nod. Of course they were. Why wouldn't they be? Nothing was to happen, nothing did happen, nothing would ever happen. She would go to his family's dinner on December thirtieth. And she would stand by him when needed.

"Um… about the dinner.. If you don't wanna' go….". Again she cut him off. She nodded. "So you'll go?" Nod. "Thank you so much! Um… if you need anything in the future let me know."

She wouldn't but it was kind of him to offer. He was going through a lot. And friends stood by each other. He had for her.

Their little group kept dancing. Zay eventually returned and that was followed by multiple teases about his secret girlfriend. Great! More secrets coming to light! Okay that one wasn't really a secret. Maya started calling Vanessa "ghost" much to Zay's dismay. The rest of the night was rather uneventful with the exception of Yogi getting thrown into the air and managing to grab on to the rafters of the gym (Riley didn't even know how that happened.)

* * *

The night ended with photos being taken of the group. Normal ones with everyone side by side, wierd ones with funny faces and poses. Even one where they tried to catch Farkle when he jumped off the steps (They missed).

Mr. Matthews had come to pick up Maya and Riley. Maya had climbed into the car but Riley did something else. She pulled him into a hug. This one was nothing like the quick awkward one at her house. This one was sweet and long. Until Mr. Matthews honked his horn when he saw the two of them.

"Riley! You don't hug thirty six year olds," he shouted. What the hell did that mean?

"Bye. I'll text you. Have a good Christmas."

She got into the car and waved good bye before the car drove off. Soon it was just him and Zay left.

"Doe eyes is your new nickname."

"Why?"

"Oh come on. You know why."

"Whatever. You can be a real ass, you know that?"

"So do you like her?"

He thought about it. Riley was fun and kind. Sweet and protective. She had no voice and had hidden her trauma. He still didn't know why she didn't talk.

It was no surprise to Zay when Lucas said yes.

* * *

 _Riley had just cleaned up his nose before she sat down on her bed. He was sitting on the bay window seat. She had to wonder. Why come here? Why be out so late?_

" _Thank you," he whispered. "I guess I better get going." He was about to climb out the window when she grabbed his arm._ Why am I doing this? _She didn't know what she was doing._

" _No no you've done too much. I can't sta. What if your dad see's me?"_

 _She laid down on her bed and put a pillow in the middle of the bed then pointed to the other side. RIley thought she must have been going crazy. But she couldn't send back into the streets at one in the morning._

" _Thank you." The he laid down in the bed. Above the blankets and nearly off the edge._

" _You know the whole reason I came is because my dad's coming to town on the thirtieth."_

 _She wouldn't say anything. "He's coming with his girlfriend. And Thomas will be there. And I can't stand my dad. He's terrible. I can't do this alone….. Will you come with me?"_

 _She didn't even have to think before she nodded. "Thanks."_

 _The two soon fell asleep. When RIley woke up she found a note on her bed that read_

Thank you. Sorry. Had to leave.

See you at school.

 _She for some reason felt… disappointed._

* * *

 **Hello** **друзья (friends). Sorry for how long the wait was. Lost a bit of inspiration and my sister came on a tour so she can start in september. My…...boyfriend? And I are taking things slow.**

 **Insert movie title here won the poll. I'm "working" on it.**

 **Love you all.**


	13. A Most Awkward Dinner

**I'm sorry for posting two other stories before this.**

 **I AM AN AUNTIE! HER NAME IS VERA NATASSIA! I'm the second oldest of nine and only one of two girls SO THIS IS A BIG DEAL!**

 **So I had no where near the response as I typically get. Not complaining it just made me worry if the chapter was good or not.**

 **Song is Horizon Rainfall by Future of Forestry**

 **December 30**

Riley prided herself on the many things she could do. She was a straight A student and could speak (well read) near fluent French. With the exception of chicken and oatmeal she was a very good at cook. A good friend and loving daughter and sister. In advanced math and English (she was quite proud of her latest story for Harper) She was very good at dealing with the problems of others even if she couldn't offer advice verbally. She was also the master at keeping silent and etcetera etcetera.  
But she knew she could never pick out the right thing to wear for a date.  
Well that was wrong this wasn't a date. This was a dinner.  
With him.  
And his mother.  
And his "broken" (his words not hers) family.  
And she was there to support him.  
Because he felt like he needed her.  
Definitely not a date.  
She eventually decided on a simple blue dress and warm velvet leggings underneath. It was the end of December in New York, she had to keep warm. Besides she wanted to look presentable in front of him and his family.  
The him who fell asleep in her bed with her one night.  
Wasn't this truly not a date?  
She had alerted her father of this dinner beforehand and he had spent the entirety of winter break sulking about it. He never said no however and that was something she was grateful for. Besides he and Auggie had planned a night of video games and chocolate cupcakes (made by her at Svorski's). Her plan was to leave at six-thirty, arrive at seven and be back at the absolute latest at eleven. Based on what Lucas told her the gathering would most likely last until ten-thirty. Take the train home and sleep to prepare for New Years Eve tomorrow, which Lucas could sadly not attend.

Could she be anymore Type A?  
She continued prepping for the evening. Light blue dress with velvet leggings underneath. She then put on some simple make-up, some mascara and light eye-shadow before putting some merlot colored lipstick on. Silver earrings, white bracelet, silver barette with the pretty tiny rose.. When she finally slipped her feet into some black one inch heels she looked over at the clock.  
Three-thirty.  
Shit.  
What to do? What to do? She openly mocked herself by dramatically pacing across her bedroom. Ah Ha! She would always make some slight edits to her story.  
Harper had given her a strange prompt. It was basically about how everyone lives in a world where a crack in the earth is made when someone breaks another's heart. Her job was to tell the story of the Grand Canyon.  
She had created her character Rosemary and set the story in the vague past. Rosemary would meet the love of her life but it wasn't real love. It was only obsession and as her character had never fallen in love she didn't know how to react. The whole part of the male character named Cassius (Riley was quite proud to say the name was Latin for vain) was that he is unintentionally narcissistic. The two married but soon he started playing games with Rosemary's mind before she caught on and realised how terrible her life became. Because of that she tried to escape her now horrid lifestyle but soon realised the only way to get out was to kill her new husband.

Although Riley considered her story to be quite dark she enjoyed her moral of needing someone because you love them, not loving them because you need them. Over the past two weeks of was all she able to think about **.** When she was in Philadelphia for Christmas and had no access to her computer she was writing on her phone, typing away at the notes app. She was constantly editing and questioning every word she wrote. And the worst part was that she had no one but her family to read it. Maya was down in Virginia visiting her father and Farkle was given permission to take Smackle with him and his family to Maine. She would call Zay but she hadn't been in touch with him since the dance. As for… she didn't want to burden him with reading her over forty page paper.

 _And with that the world was thrown into shock as the one person they thought could never break, shattered._

"Done," she whisper shouted. She was quite proud with her finished draft. She quickly opened up her email and typed out a message to Harper before attaching her file. She then decided to thrown in a quick Happy New Year before closing out and closing the laptop.

 _Six-twenty five. Hooray!_

She grabbed the little white purse she packed for the evening and walked out her room and into the living room. When she saw what was going on though she stopped in her tracks. There was her father and Auggie, controllers in hand, racing cars. both shouting at each other and at the television, the occasional obscenity being thrown in (mostly by her father). There were two jars of peanut butter on the table and various chips along with gummy candies strewn across the table.

She passed by and kissed her father on the cheek while stealing a handful of gummies.

"Hey!," Auggie yelled.

"Love you," her father said not taking his eyes off the television. She shook her head, a small smile on her face. She put on her jacket, white hat and matching gloves She finally walked out the house and shut the door behind her. She quickly texted Lucas that she would be on her way and walked down the stairs.

* * *

She was glad that she wore her red puffy jacket. The air was cold and snow was falling around her, getting caught in her hair. The excitement of Christmas was over but as she walked to the subway she saw the hustle and bustle that always came with New Years. That mostly involved drunks walking the street and a far more visible police force.

As she walked down the stairs she felt… weird something was off. She tried to shake off the feeling as she slid her subway card and walked through the turnstile. She paused to wonder where the feeling came as she walked onto the platform. Then she knew.

She quickly turned around and the saw the root cause. A young man, maybe about twenty was right behind her. He was wobbling on his feet. _Possibly drunk._

"Hey.. there… gorGEOUS!" _Definitely drunk._

"Why don't we…" He didn't finish his sentence before grabbing her arm. In suite she did what Uncle Josh taught her. She screamed and aimed a punch straight at the stranger's throat. And missed. Dammit. So she did what she knew she should have done from the start. She kneed the man in the groin.

The scream she made startled herself. A commotion had been made and a man pulled the drunk off of her. Then she noticed her train had arrived. She was uncomfortable. She wasn't ready to make that noise in front of that many people. So when she saw an officer coming she ran onto the train. Some people, tourists obviously, starred but the rest focused on themselves. One girl couldn't take her eyes off Riley. So when her stop came she looked the girl straight in the eye and shrugged her shoulders with a look she knew said _Meh._

* * *

The warm and fragrant home Riley had become used to was no more. She knew it before she knocked on the door. A woman she had never seen before answered the door.

"Can I 'elp you," she asked, some unfamiliar accent. French maybe? The young woman had merlot red hair and slate colored eyes. The woman wore a jam colored dress that showed off the woman's very welled defined collarbones and shoulders. As RIley quickly glanced down she noticed the woman's very high pearl colored heels that were possibly the only reason why she loomed over Riley. _Stepmother? Other Woman?_

"Valeria. This is RIley," Lucas told the woman his head popping out behind her shoulder.

"Ahh yes. Come in Riley." Valeria stepped aside and allowed Riley into the house. Her prediction was correct. The usual smell of cinnamon was gone, replaced by the smell of cleaning spray. The indie folk music she came to love that came from the kitchen was replaced with soft and sterile classical music. The small apartment was typically slightly cluttered giving it a nice homey and cozy feeling. But everything was cleared and put nicely away. Even the bright paintings on the wall seemed low.

"Riley this is Valeria Bourgeois. She works with my father David," Lucas said. _So she is French._ He pulled her into a very awkward hug, but she willingly accepted it. She knew this night would be tough. He was dressed a nice dark button-up (Not blue for once she thought) with dark jeans. Perhaps she was overdressed but with what Valeria was wearing she felt comfortable.

"Someone mention me," a male voice asked.

"No 'oney! Lucas was just introducing me," Valerie shouted. In entered a man who look extremely similar to Lucas. It had to be his father. Same hair color and similar build. The only visible difference were the eyes. David Friar's eyes were brown and it was obvious to RIley even before she met his father that Lucas would have his mother's green eyes.

"Evening Riley! It's so nice to finally meet my son's girlfriend." He held his hand out but instead she stepped back and quickly shook her head while Lucas quickly said:

"She's not my girlfriend!" Valeria softly chuckled at this. She could practically feel her cheeks heating up.

"Oh I'm sorry." He kept his hand up and she shook it. He hand a firm grip. Based on the dark suit and the cocky smile she assumed he was a businessman. "It's very nice to meet you Miss Riley. I hear you go to school with Lucas?" She nodded and looked down. _Nice shoes._. "Shy are we?"

"David can I talk to you and Valeria," Lucas quickly asked. He turned to her and whispered "I haven't exactly told him. Can I?" She nodded and as the two left the room with Lucas when she heard sounds coming from the kitchen. Mild shouting. She walked down the tiny hall to the kitchen. She loved their kitchen it was tiny and small but always had the most amazing smells coming from it. Inside she saw Sarah's cooking at the stove while a smartly dressed man was working at the counter.

"...Well I don't know how to react Thomas! What am I supposed to say? I can't.." Sarah turned with a pot in her hand when she saw Riley. "Oh, evening Riley! Are you well?" SHe nodded when Sarah turned to the sink. Sarah looked stunning tonight, her honey blonde hair pulled into a pretty low bun while she wore a jet black dress that reminded her slightly of Breakfast At Tiffany's. The man next to her she knew was Thomas, though after many visits she still had never met him before. He turned to look at her and nodded. He had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes, he wore a dark blue sweater over a button up and khaki's.

Soon Sarah focused her attention back on Riley. "Thanks for coming. I know Lucas was looking forward to having you." Riley pointed to the pot on the stove. "Um.."

"I think she wants to know if you need help," Thomas answered. She nodded and smiled.

"Oh, thank you sweetie but thats not necessary. Foods almost ready. Besides I will not have my guest cooking."

"Oh rude of me. I'm Thomas Likely. Riley Matthews correct?" She nodded. "Oh good. Lucas talks about you all the time but I'm horrible with names." She shook his hand as Sarah called out.

"Soups on!"

* * *

Dinner's at the Friars was always bright and occurred about every two weeks (basically whenever they had an new English project). Dinner was full of laughing from the Friar's and wide smiles by Riley. Typically the ate at the teeny tiny table in the kitchen with a playlist of jazz and folk blaring out of the speakers. Not tonight.

Tonight's dinner was formal and stiff. At least she could learn about everyone.

"We were able to meet the President of France," David bragged. "You 'ave already told them that," Valeria answered. She had come prepared to hate Valeria but she had grown to her humanity. David was easy to hate.

"Lucas my boss gave me two tickets to a Giants playoff game. Wanna go," Thomas asked. Thomas was sweet and tried to civil. She saw how he often shot Sarah longing glances.

"Are you alright Riley," Sarah asked. She knew far too much about Sarah than a normal person.

"Mom please pass the steak," Lucas asked. _Where do I start…._

Despite the at times uncomfortable meal the food, however, was her sanctuary. Steak with creamy mashed potatoes and a light and fresh homemade salad. Desert was a slice of cheesecake and a bowl of ice cream once everyone moved into the living room.

They had started a team game of Trivial Pursuit when the happy blended family facade shattered. No not just shattered. More like exploded. Obliterated. Vaporised. Disintegrated.

"The evening is fucked" was the perfect way to put it.

"Lucas," David called. His head shot up and he smiled (he actually smiled!) at his father. "Can I tell you something?" He nodded enthusiastically.

"Valeria and I would like to get married."

He looked confused. "What?"

"I said we're going to be married!"

The smile shattered (but it was so cute!). Poor David didn't know what was coming his way.

"No! No fucking way!"

"Lucas Alexander Friar! Watch your language," Sarah scolded.

"David I don't think now 'ees the best time," Valeria ushered.

"Well I was just thinking…"

"David! We have guests. Not the time," Sarah scolded through gritted teeth.

David chose to ignore them. "And then if you want to you could come live with me back in Texas…." No! NO no no no!

"I think it's time for you to go," Thomas said, standing up. _Yes time to go._

"Yes. Time for you to go," Sarah said through gritted teeth.

"Thank you for 'aving us," Valeria rushed, grabbing her bag and shoes in the process. "Dear we should go."

"You leave Valeria. Sarah may I talk to you?" Sarah nodded grimly.

"Alright. Je t'aime." Valeria looked inside as she left, softly thanking Sarah and saying goodbye to Lucas. She would miss Valeria. It was obvious the young woman didn't know what to do. She honestly would like to see Valeria again. But that meant David…...

"Thomas, thank you for coming but…."

"I'm on it. Sleep well." Thomas kissed her cheek. "Lucas don't forget to pick a day for a game. Nice to meet you Riley." He too left the apartment, quickly.

"Lucas. Please take Riley to your room. Or the roof. Doesn't matter."

"Lucas I would like to talk to you before I leave."

"Shove it," he responded.

Sarah didn't scold him this time.

"Grab your coat," he said, visibly still reeling. She took that as a sign to go to the roof. The moment it was on he was pulling her out the door. Through the hallway and up a flight of stairs to the roof. He let go of her wrist as she sat down on the ledge. His roof was barren compared to her flower covered one.

"I just…" He was pacing around while she sat on the ledge of the building. She looked down and saw they were only about four stories up.

"Just….. HIM! What the fuck is wrong with him? Valeria doesn't even deserve him! God knows they'll get married and while she's working he'll be fucking some younger girl!" She noticed he tended to swear more when he was angry. He slammed down onto the spot next to her. She involuntarily grabbed his shoulders and pulled him closer so that his head was resting on her shoulder. He began to talk in a string of unfinished sentences as she ran her hand through his hair in an effort to calm him down.

"You know, I actually care for Valeria. She didn't know she was sleeping with a married man."

Riley had picked up on that. She could see it. What she couldn't see is how Lucas was the son of that… she didn't what to call him. Lucas was… Lucas. Definitely a momma's boy. But who wouldn't be with a father like that. She shuddered to think what he would be like if her turned out like his father.

"I don't want him in my life. Or mom's. I just want him gone. He can go back and forth to Paris and sleep with random girls. I don't care about that. I care about the fact that he's trying to involve me in it."

He eventually lifted his head off her shoulder. The two sat in silence. When he turned his body so that his legs were dangling off the building and she copied and swung her legs in a childish manner. Neither said anything. Just sat next to each other, looking towards the ground, wallowing in each other's problems.

He was the first to make a move.

"We moved here in May." Why was he telling her this? "She'd had enough. He was always flying off. New place, new woman. So we packed up and moved out here when she got a job at the publishing company. One day, he comes home and see's we've gone. She never told him. We sold all the animal's to my grandfather. He didn't even call about it. Didn't' surprise us. He knocked her up in highschool and was never in full parent mode. So in June he flies up here on a business trip and demands a custody settlement. Surprised the hell out of us. She goes to court and wins full custody. Of course he fighting for the same thing. She wins." He stopped. She knew it wasn't the end of the story but she didn't push him.

"Worst part was, when he found out that he lost he was given the option for weekends or a day out of the week. Told ma' "No use in fighting when you're gonna lose". He didn't want me if he didn't take me away from ma'." Dear God. _Monster_ , she thought. Who did that to their own child?

She was about to open her lips. Say something. Anything. She never got the chance.

"Lucas?" It was David popping out of the door. "I interrupting something?"  
"Yes."

David walked to him anyway. _Turn around._ "I just wanted to say bye."

"Bye then."

"Look. Lucas….."

"You still don't get it do ya'," he interrupted. "You shouldn't be here! You shouldn't put your fiance in that environment. Or Ma'! But you don't care! You only care about yourself. You know why she's here?" He pointed to Riley. "So that you all wouldn't be acting up and so that you wouldn't be your regular self! She's here to give support to me and Ma'! She's there for me! She doesn't even have to speak to be a calming presence! She's everything your not! She's amazing!"

Riley started to bite her lip and look down out of embarrassment. _More like fear of them seeing your blushing cheeks._

"I didn't know that's what you thought of me," David said. There was no shame in his face.

"Not what I _thought._ It's what I _think_ ," he spat.

"I'll all you," was all David said before walking back down the stairs.

"Yeah right."

Riley turned back around and looked down, her hands fidgeting. She was as silent as ever for the next few minutes. She saw David get into a taxi at the corner of the street. He was gone. _Who knows for how long._

Did he really think of her like that? She couldn't imagine. She sorta thought of him like that but she never knew that he did for her. He called her amazing. _Amazing! He thinks I'm amazing!_

Her watch beeped. _Crap._ It was ten, she had to go. She saw she was looking at the watch too. His eyes, he looked like he wanted to cry. She stood up, her hand rubbing her wrist.

"I guess you have to go," he said glumly.

She nodded then she did something that she couldn't decided whether or not was stupid.

When he leaned to pull her into a hug….

She kissed his cheek.

Yep. She screwed up. Big time.

* * *

 **Please review!**


	14. This Day Was To Be Marked Down

**Don't own GMW.**

 **This chapter was filled with the excitement of becoming official with James. First ever American boyfriend. I have quite a bit to learn. Woohoo!**

 **Lot's of inner Riley And a little surprise ;)**

 **Also. I GOT A TUMBLR! It's in the works but it is a Rucas centric blog called "Will You Call Me Princess Dancing Sunshine?" You can get previews for "Insert Movie Title Here" there.**

 **Song for the chapter is I Decide by Lindsay Lohan. Heard it playing while I was calling my sister. Not my usual taste but it fit the chapter.**

* * *

Nine Months.

Nine months.

Nine months.

The number mocked her today as she cleaned dishes in Svorski's. It had been mocking her for the past nine months. Nine months since she kissed him. She knew it was only a cheek kiss but to her those were more special. They represented love. Just love. Not romantic, not passionate, not longing. Just love. They also represented her ability to go off on tangents.  
This replayed in her head as she burned her hands multiple times while doing dishes. It mocked her as she took dirty dishes from empty tables back to the kitchen. It screamed to her as she left and returned home for her last day of summer vacation. And it nearly deafened her as she began writing on her baby blue laptop.

She was writing her first original. No prompt, no Harper, no nothing. Just keys, spell check, and an Idea. Along with absolutely no directions on how to start. It was a sort of memoir to herself but she had no idea other than that. It had an actual plot that made sense, unlike her life. She wrote a couple thousand words before gradually transferring to a Tumblr blog. Something about France.

She wanted to go to France.

Then she browsed through other blogs. Fandoms. Vlogs. Crafts.

She should start a blog when she went to college.

When Tumblr got old she switched to organizing her school supplies for tomorrow. Her binder was a pale blue with brights red polka dots that she had ordered online. Inside held a lavender pencil pouch, that of which was nearly full of her pencils, pens, highlighters, calculator, protractor and everything else she needed. Then came a planner she added in herself. Mint green with little pale yellow swirls. Were pastels becoming her thing? Then behind that were her dividers and notebooks, little stacks of paper behind each book. She had chosen to color code everything this year. Pale pink for her first class, Trigonometry. Soft grey for Year Three French. Pale blue for her first elective, photography. Light yellow for her next elective, creative writing. Then mint green for English, Lavender for Chemistry, and finally light cantaloupe orange for History class. The History class that would be taught by her father. Again. Surprise!

As she rummaged, she found nothing she saw nothing new that she could organize. Now she was just bored. Writer's block, no books to read, no good television had aired yet. No friends to interact with since she and her friends had declared celibacy. Okay that was Smackle's fancy word for it. In short the six friends decided after a summer of spending nearly everyday together that they had to stay away from each other for the last week of school. She was still wrapping her head around how everyone decided to agree to that. It was kind of fun actually. She and Maya would see each other in the halls and smile down at the floor as they attempted not to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. No contact. With the exception of her mother's anniversary. So she hadn't seen her friends in three days.

She huffed and fell onto her bed, hands threading through the lavender cotton comforter. Pastels were becoming her thing. She had already set out her outfit for tomorrow. Blue jean shorts, white top with the off the shoulder sleeves that ran to her elbows. Billowy was the right word to describe it. And of course her mint green grecian sandals.

"Nothing to do," she said aloud to nobody. She could always start speaking. Go tell her father she loved him and apologize to Auggie or never letting him hear her voice. It's been ten years dammit, she internally yelled. Nine months. Shut up brain. I'll try Miss Riley, it responded.  
With a final huff she got off the bed and set opened the bay window, her knees sinking into the cushions. Crawling through the window she took a big breath of fresh air. The air was not at all clean, it was New York for God's sake, but to her it felt like the cleanest breath she ever took. She stayed there for a few moments, playing with the lilies and yellow and pink rhododendrons she let grow on the porch. After a few moments of that she began to climb the creaking but sturdy fire escape. Up and up until she reached the roof. Pulling herself up over the side with expertise, she hit her knee on the metal bar, making a big clank. "Ow," she grumbled.

She stood up and wiped the dirt off her jeans and blue shirt. It was about six but as it was early September, the sun was about an hour of away from attempting to set. The air was warm but not unbearable. And there Riley Matthews sat. On the edge of the building, legs swinging back and forth, mind and soul lost in thought. She thought about the new year. How she would soon take the SAT and the ACT for precaution. What colleges to apply to? She did not yet know. Her mind wandered to Vanessa, Zay's girlfriend whom she once met while the two were video chatting. How much easier and harder it was to have a girlfriend so far away. Then her mind wandered to Maya and Josh. The twenty-year old and seventeen year old appeared to truly like each other. Like was too weak of a word. Love might have been a bit too strong though. Appreciate seem'd the best way to describe it. She thought of her father, his constant smile, trying to hide his tears from three days ago. She remembers that day. Her family did not come with the exception of Josh, everyone wore black, and for three hours they all say in the room. Maya would sit on Josh's lap, Isadora would be on the brink of holding hands with Farkle and she and Lucas stayed on opposite sides of the room, sending each other...certain glances.

"Mom. I need help." She was now looking up at the sky, her hands fiddling. She knew her mother was no longer here but she was currently the only one she felt comfortable talking to. "So mom, you're gone. And a lot has happened since that night. And I...miss you. So much. And I wish you were here so I could talk to you. Maybe things would be different. Maybe I would actually talk. To others." Her eyes were tearing up now as she imagined her mother, Topanga, dressing her up everyday, always finding a way to add in a flower somewhere.

"But mom I'm in highschool now." She chuckled. "You probably knew that. But now I'm a junior. And everyone has been going on about what they want to do with their life. But I don't know what I want to do with my life. I could be a writer but how could I survive? And my job at Svorski's wouldn't support me alone. And how am I going to function in society? I don't want to live my life being the freaky mute that everyone thinks I am."  
She paused before continuing. "Maya's dating Josh. How do you feel about that? I was just as shocked when I found out about it. It's a little weird because of the age difference but I think they're handling it quite well. And Farkle no longer dresses in turtlenecks or professes his lifelong love to me. He found a girl. Her name is Isadora but we all call her Smackle. She has Aspergers but she is doing such a great job in life. Farkle is no longer just Stuart's kid. He's becoming his own person.

"And as for Maya, her mom, Katie, is dating Shawn. I know how weird that must sound but the two seem really in love."

"And mommy... There's this guy. His name is Lucas. He moved here from Texas in the beginning of sophomore year. He has brown hair and beautiful green eyes that light up whenever he talks about the things he loves. Our friendship is conflicted. I...like him...alot. And he cares for me but we can't be together because he probably doesn't think of me that way. But then on some days I do. I kissed... On the cheek," she rushed. " One time when I was drunk but that's a story for another time. But when I kissed him in December...it was something else. And the look on his face when I left was...I don't know what it was."

"He cares for me and I care for him. I trust him and he trusts me. We work well together. He only questioned my silence once. He respects me but I don't know how to be around him." The past nine months have been just whirlwind of ignoring emotions and acting "natural" around each other (at times failing). "I….really, really like this boy. I might….even want to be with him…..but I don't know how."

Her tears were now dry and she was staring at the now colored filled sky. Blues and yellows and oranges. She was talking. Confidently to a mother who was not there. But she didn't want to talk about Lucas anymore. "I got a job. At Mrs. Svorski's bakery. I collect and wash dishes. She pays me a good wage and let's me bake cupcakes on the weekends. She misses you too." She sat there for a moment before her father came up the fire escape, his head popping out from her window.

"Riley! Dinner!"

"One sec dad!"

"RILEY!" Then the weight of what she had done came crashing down. Her father…her voice. She'd spoken. To another person. It was just….happened. She didn't know what to do. He was running up the steps, it was all happening too fast. Her eyes were glazing over, she didn't know what to do. Cory was now at the top, pulling himself over in a way, had it not be in this situation, would be funny.

"What did you say," he asked frantically. "Please Riley."

"I said….One sec." She was doing it. She was talking. She was talking! And it felt….scary. But in that way you felt when at the top of a rollercoaster. The moment it was over she felt...okay. It was her father. This was to be taken at baby steps. Would she do it again…. "Dad. I said….one sec."

"Riley! Oh my god!" He was pulling her into a hug. He was crying, she was crying, the shock of the event was still on their faces. She was so proud of herself, she felt like she could fly.

"I've never… Oh man… I've never been more proud of you." Her father's admiration was something she could never get rid of. She would never forget this moment it would be etched into her mind. Forever.

"I love you Daddy."

"Love you too."

The two stayed this way until she spoke up.

"You can't tell anyone."

"Why not?" He honestly sounded confused but she understood why he wouldn't understand.

"I'm not ready. It may seem easy to you but to me..."

"You're scared. You nervous."

"Exactly."

"What about your brother?"

Oh god, her brother. SHe hadn't spoken to Auggie since he was just a few months old. The guilt she felt everyday was staggering and made her just want to burst into tears anytime he mentioned her. She would look at him and almost feel grief and guilt all at once. She couldn't. Not yet. Someday. But not today.

"Someday. Not today though."

"Maya?"

"The same answer." It was the same thoughts she had for Auggie that she had for Maya.

"Just me?"

"For the time being."

"I'm special!" He pulled her tighter to him.

"Yes you are" she giggled.

"Dad! Riley! Dinner's getting cold," Auggie yelled from out the window.

"Coming," her father yelled.

* * *

For the first time in months, she fell asleep with no problem. You would think she would be terrified but she fell asleep and dreamt of the happy memories she had of her mother. Flowers, dresses, yellow, legal meetings. Candy. She was prepared for tomorrow.

* * *

"We all have History together! Yes," Zay shouted out in front of the building, startling some nearby freshmen.

"But then again it's being taught by Mr. Matthews. Again," Lucas emphasized.

"Let's just hope he doesn't lose it when you sit near Riley," Maya joked. _Oh he's too happy at the moment,_ she thought.

Her schedule was normal. In Trigonometry and French she had alone with Lucas. Photography and Creative writing were her two classes where she was alone. In English she had Farkle, Lucas, Smackle, and Maya. Science had Lucas, Maya and Zay (Smackle and Farkle were far more advanced than them). Finally she had History with all her friends. As for activities, she had joined the school newspaper, while Lucas and Zay were on the football team (wide receiver and cornerback, respectively). Maya had joined art club while Farkle and Smackle were in Engineering and Robotics club. If it weren't for the expecting even life changing tests coming up this year might even be fun.

"Maya how is Joshua," Smackle asked.

"He's good. Starting up his sophomore year at NYU."

"I was mostly referring to your current relationship with Joshua."

"Oh..um we're good. Great, actually!" Maya was always a bit nervous when asked about Josh. Mostly because of the age gap. Even though Riley had given them her blessing, it was still a little weird.

Riley snapped her fingers to get everyone's attention. When they all focused on her she pulled a container out of her backpack, revealing mini cupcakes. Vanilla and chocolate swirled ones with mint frosting that Mrs. Svorski taught her to make.m

"Breakfast," Zay shouted excitedly.

"Thanks Riley," Maya said as she grabbed the largest one and took a bite, crumbs falling down her face.

"Wait. Isaiah, are you saying you didn't eat breakfast this morning," Smackle asked, getting the two into a 'debate' over the importance of eating in the morning (she sided with Smackle). While her friends sat on the benches in front of the school Riley's mind wandered to what prompts Harper would give this year. She had given Riley four over the summer alone. Each one as different and strange as the one before. An article on PTSD. A sonnet about bread (that was a weird one.) A story about children who wandered away from home (something that was sent to a worker at a publisher and highly praised.)

She smiled brightly and basked in the sun, eating her cupcake proudly (more milk). She confident today. No longer would she feel low. She felt as if an episode was thousands of miles away. It was great. Who knew when she speak, but why would she care? She felt brave today. Flipping up her sunglasses, she saw Charlie Gardner passing by her, waving at her. She waved back awkwardly. She had heard rumors that Charlie liked her, but the rumors made her slightly uncomfortable. She had never even spoken to the boy, which meant the boy must have been judging purely on looks. _No way, not me_ , she thought.

The bell rang and after waving goodbye to Maya and Zay, who were off to Geometry, and to Farkle and Smacke who were off to Calculous, she followed Lucas off to Trigonometry. She was a little nervous for this class as it was taught by a one Mrs. Olivia Bender. Mrs. Bender (although she preferred to be called Professor) was notorious for being harsh and cruel to students. Riley of course knew that it was unlikely for her to anger her new teacher but she wasn't entirely sure. She and Lucas entered the class together, taking in the disturbingly dull room. "After you miss," Lucas said jokingly and she stepped in front of him. She chose a seat next to the window in the second row and he sat next to her. Riley pointed to him and held up the 'okay sign' while shrugging her shoulders, indicating that she was asking him if he was okay with the arrangement. He nodded and opened his binder and she followed his lead, trying not to notice how close they were sitting together.

The bell soon rang and the class silenced, not knowing what to expect. Mrs. Bend was not in the room yet, so Riley took to look at her classmates. She recognised a few, like Darby and… MIssy. _Nononononono!_ The mere thought of the spoiled rich girl made Riley want gouge her eyes out.

"If she doesn't show up in fifteen minutes do we get to leave," the brat asked loudly to one of her minions.

"No you don't!" Mrs. Bender walked into the room, her dark hair pulled into a sharp bun atop her head. Her extremely tall black heels clicked against the linoleum. "Miss…"

"Bradford," she replied cooly. Bender took off her silver glasses off and ran a hand across her face as she sat behind her desk. "Oh God…."

Riley was surprised for Bender to say what she was thinking.

* * *

The rest of the day was quite uneventful, meaning that they were either talking all period or just learning the rules (as if they hadn't already every year before.) Before RIley knew it, she was sitting in the football field stands watching Lucas having his first practice. Oh and Zay was at that practice as well.

They had invited everyone else but Farkle had a surprise for Isadora (she was quite excited to hear that) and Maya had a shift at Svorski's. So Riley settled herself into a spot where the sun would hit her but not to the point of it getting in her eyes and began to writing in her planner for her next two week,

And then, in a feeling of very obnoxious deja' vu, Bratty Bradford sat down next to the silent girl. Riley looked to see who had chosen to sit next to her, and in an act of near defiance, she slid about three feet away.

"Can't get away from me that easily Mute Matthews," she called. _Dear God she sounds like the Wicked Witch of The West._ Missy was accompanied by two of her followers, her best friend and well known blonde mean-girl Tara Perkins and whatever follower of the week it was. This time it was short redhead sophomore Serena Tanjaney. That was disappointing to Riley, who knew Serena from seeing her at the diner.

"So heard that Charlie Gardner's got a little crush on you," Missy sang. "Too bad. He's for Tara." Riley flipped her sunglasses back down and chose to ignore the girl and her minions, pulling out her earbuds. Before the second one was in her ear, Tara had pulled the other one out. "Listen up Mute!"

Nope, absolutely not. She, Riley Matthews, did not deserve to be treated like this. So she stood and began to walk away. "You better stay silent! No one wants to hear your ugly voice anyway," Missy shouted.

She literally waved it off as she walked down the bleachers and to the small patch of grass the laid before the field. The boys were huddled together while the coach yelled instructions, something about "being religious about the sport" and whatnot. Looking at her phone, she saw that practice was just about to end so she didn't set up shop again. Practice ended with sweaty boys shouting and running off to the locker rooms (some failing their arms) and she laughed softly at the excitement of their actions as they all ran off.

A few minutes later Lucas and Zay came barreling down the field, in midst chatter, smiling brightly. She applauded loudly and beamed at Lucas. _No, you were smiling at both of them._

"So I gotta go this way," Zay said, dramatically pointing one direction. "And you two have to got that way." He pointed the other way. "So I will you see you two weirdos tomorrow!"

"Make sure to do your homework," Lucas shouted.

"Don't count on it," Zay shouted as he walked away with his bag in hand.

Lucas turned back to Riley. "I'm in the mood for ice cream. Do you want to get ice cream? Let's get ice cream!" It was obvious the cowboy was still being fueled by the adrenaline of the practice and as she followed the boy, she smiled and shook her head.

The two instead of taking the subway the full four stops, got off on the second and walked the short distance to the ice cream parlour. They group had gone their a few times and it was run by a nice older man, a Vietnam veteran named Ike, who liked giving the girls an extra scoop and made sure the boys were all polite. Other than the owner the place was quite normal. Painted yellow with with white polka dots, the store offered twenty-five flavors of ice cream.

"Mister Friar! Miss Matthews! The usual," Ike shouted from behind the counter. Lucas turned to Riley as if to check, before she nodded and he nodded too. She followed him up to the counter and began to open before Lucas held up his hands.

"Allow me." She began to put up a fight before Ike shouted "Let him!" She accepted defeat and grabbed the two a small table. Soon Lucas returned with two ice creams. The first one was for her, chocolate, peanut butter and lemon (don't ask) with gobs of gummy bears in a cup. The second for him, peaches and vanilla with chocolate chips, served in a waffle cone. He took a seat across from her and she grabbed a napkin, putting the gummy gears on it.

"Remember when we were texting and you told me it was more humane that way," he asked. She smiled at the memory as she did indeed do as she told him. The two sat in relative silence while they ate in the busy parlour, saved by the security of their booth.

As the two were heading out and back down the subway steps, Lucas started a new topic.

"So our first game is September Twenty-Seventh. It's a huge deal. Can you come?"

That was a strange thing to ask her. Of course she would be there. Even if she hated football or didn't know him she would be there because of newspaper. She nodded her head diligently as the two sat down when their train opened the double doors and they shuffled themselves in. "Thanks. It means a lot to me." If only she knew that he was thinking about last year, when he asked her to come to his house and had said nearly the same thing.

* * *

It was fairly normal when she arrived home. She worked on her homework before Auggie came into her room.

"Dad said there was something going on between us? That we need to talk?"

She took a deep breath in, not ready to face this but accepting it had to be done.

"Yes. We do need to talk." She would never forget the excited look on his face.

* * *

 **Well? I know many of you wanted her to first talk to Lucas but…. You'll see… Heeee Heeee**

 **Also for the whole Joshaya thing we know Maya is a year older than Riley so if Maya is 17 then Josh is 20. And it does not break any "age of consent laws" for the state of New York.**

 **Thoughts? Comments? JUST please please** **пожалуйста please review. And check out my blog. It probably sucks but, who knows? I love you all so much.**


	15. Draw Not Your Bow Till Your Arrow Is Fix

**Hey, Everyone. Sorry I've been gone so long. This isn't an update and soon you'll know why.**

 **Recently my father passed away and with all the chaos and mourning, there is this constant feeling off disbelief. He was my rock, the one that pushed me to go to college, to break the poverty cycle in my family. He taught me English and how to love books and movies.**

 **And I miss him.**

 **So i lost track of my writing. And when I return all of SINAG is gone. All of it. I don't know how. Then on top of that, my insurance no longer covers my bipolar medication. So yeah, I took a break.**

 **If I'm to be truly honest, I've never felt proud of this story. I appreciated all the support I ever got. Ever review, follow, favorite, message was a sign of something. It was "you are doing something, and it makes me feel good." As a psychology student, I want to get that feeling out of people. But with this story...I don't know how**

 **So guys, let me just get to it. I am discontinuing SINAG. With everything going on and the fact that all my writing disappeared, I took it as a sign that confirmed my thoughts. This story is too good for me.**

 **So I will keep writing. Just not this story. I have two other stories that I'm working on, both AU's. Insert Movie Title Here, which you all know about, and a new one called The Faulty Chemistry Club. Maybe one day OI'll come bac, and rewrite this. But for now it makes me cry every time I think about it because of where it hits me.**

 **We have a Russian Saying. "** **Аво́сь да как-нибу́дь до добра́ не доведу́т." which means "Draw not your bow till your arrow is fixed." My arrow wasn't fixed when I uploaded this story.**

 **Thank you for all your love, support, enthusiasm, and kindness. I'll be up in about three weeks with the first chapter of IMTH. Also I will be Changing My USERNAME so don't freak out.**

 **I Love You All.**


	16. CONTINUATION

I do not think you all realize how many times I tried to say no to this- THIS STORY WE BE RE-WRITTEN. I AM CONTINUING IT.

If I am honest I am having some writer's block with Insert Movie Title Here, so this will probably cause enough of a distraction to give me some new idea.

I will be posting the re-written version as a new story. When? I don't know, I'm impulsive like that.

AHHHH! I AM SO EXCITED TO BE WRITING MY BABY AGAIN.

Anything you may want in the new version? I may actually put it in! Let me know! My arrow's set and I've got my pills fully insured, I am ready!


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